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Why do relationships fall apart more often these days? Dr Shriram Nene answers
Madhuri Dixit’s husband, Dr. Sriram Nene, has opened up about the challenges relationships face in today's world. In a recent social media post, he revealed the key factors contributing to the growing frequency of relationship breakdowns, offering insightful perspectives on the complexities of modern relationships. Dr. Nene shared that one of the biggest reasons relationships fail today is the lack of investment. In the caption of the post, he explained, “In my experience, one of the biggest reasons relationships fail is because we stop investing in them. It’s easy to get caught up in life and forget that relationships need time, effort, and real presence. They don’t grow on autopilot—you’ve got to show up, listen, and understand what the other person truly needs. I’ve learned that the strongest connections are built through small, consistent actions. So give your time, put in the effort, and keep choosing each other—every single day.” In the video, Nene could be heard saying, “We don’t invest in relationships. I have found that whether it is with the children, with your pets, with your family members, or with your spouse. The main thing is you have to take the time to develop a relationship to understand what each person’s needs are. And you have to give in order to get. So, the idea is to invest in time as well as in effort to make a relationship work.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by Dr. Shriram Nene (@drneneofficial) Notably, Dr. Sriram Nene, cardiothoracic surgeon, regularly shares insightful and informative videos on various health and wellness topics, offering his expertise to his followers. He also gives them a glimpse into his personal life, sharing moments from his daily routine and family life on Instagram, allowing fans to connect with him on a more personal level. Madhuri Dixit tied the knot with Shriram Nene on October 17, 1999, in a traditional wedding ceremony held in Southern California, at the home of her elder brother. The couple are proud parents to two sons, Arin and Ryan. For the unversed, Madhuri and Nene’s love story began with an attempt at matchmaking by Madhuri's brother, Ajit Dixit. Although initially reluctant, Madhuri was intrigued when she met Shriram at a party and was pleasantly surprised by his unfamiliarity with her fame. After living in the US for several years, the couple eventually made their way back to India. This story has been sourced from a third party syndicated feed, agencies. Mid-day accepts no responsibility or liability for its dependability, trustworthiness, reliability and data of the text. Mid-day management/mid-day.com reserves the sole right to alter, delete or remove (without notice) the content in its absolute discretion for any reason whatsoever
22 April,2025 12:42 PM IST | Mumbai | IANS
What are we? Indians share how long it takes to define a connection
"What are we?" might just be the trickiest question to answer while dating. The pace at which couples have a clear answer can either be a game of patience or a race against time- it depends on who you ask. Indian dating app QuackQuack recently conducted a survey and the finding shows that while for some, the talking stage to commitment can be a slow brew, with a lot of messages and meme exchanges spread out over a month, for others, the realisation of "where's this going?" comes as quickly as making a cup of instant coffee. The recent study by the app gives insight into how long it takes a typical Indian dater to go from chatting to committed- responses of 9,578 singles and couples across Tier-1, 2, and 3 cities were analysed to understand this timeline. Participants ranged between 18 and 35 and spanned from various professional fields, including marketing, law and order, finance, IT, healthcare, social media content creation, education and academics, and entrepreneurship. The app's founder and CEO Ravi Mittal commented, "The timeline of defining a relationship varies from person to person. While three months remains a popular timeline for most users, ensuring both partners are on the same page is more important than the timing, even if that means one of them has to wait a little longer for the other to get there." The three-month ultimatum34 per cent of active users of the dating app between 27 and 35 claimed that by the end of three months, matches either call it a day or call it a relationship. It is the unofficial "official deadline" for most Indian daters. By that time, if an online couple does not know where the connection is going, chances are they never will and eventually drift apart. Nayanika from Delhi said, "There's a rumour that online dating is full of situationships, but the reality is no one wants to be stuck in limbo, and this three-month mark seems to work best- by the third month, I need to know if we are wasting time or going exclusive." Social pressure leads to shortcutsExternal influence in India leads to a lot of pressure on young daters- the pressure to "settle down" has led several people to settle but for less. 3 in 5 women and 2 in 6 men complained that society's timeline, peer pressure, and family expectations can rush the commitment process. Rajeev (32), professor from Mumbai, said, "I have rushed into a commitment before because all my friends are married, and it did not pan out well. I would strongly suggest deciding your pace according to where your connection is standing and not by where you are standing in life." Age is not just a numberAge factors in while dating- the app's data shows Gen-Z takes it slow and tends to take longer to define their relationships, while Millennials are in an evident rush. 2 in 7 daters in the 18 to 22 age range revealed taking up to six months to commit, while 3 in 6 Millennials above 28 follow the three-months rule. 22-year-old Anisha from Bangalore commented, "I think we have the luxury to slow down and prioritise our personal goals too. But when it is the older daters, they have both more pressure and better understanding- on the one hand, they feel the stress to settle, and on the other hand, they also have the experience which helps them reach a clear decision sooner." The ninth wonderOnly about 9 per cent of daters disclosed labeling their relationship within the first two weeks of matching. While the "love at first LIKE" type relationships burn strong and fizzle soon, for these lucky daters, it started with intense chemistry and is still going strong with long-term potential. Nihal from Cochin, medical practitioner, shared, "I met Simran on the app, and during our first chat, I knew she was the one. We matched, met by the end of the week, and made it official. When it feels right, I don't see the reason to wait."
08 April,2025 10:46 AM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
2 in 7 Holi matches go beyond the festival: Survey
Holi, the festival of colours, is now also a festival of connections. As the country gears up for celebrations, dating apps across India are seeing a surge in matches, interactions, and spontaneous meetups. Indian dating app, QuackQuack, revealed that their new survey shows 2 in 7 matches formed around the festival turned into real-life connections. The app's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, "Holi is all about embracing joy, which makes it an exciting time to begin something new. The new survey data shows that beyond flirting online and the festive spirit, many users are forming real relationships. We noticed that it happens often around auspicious days and group celebrations." The study was conducted by QuackQuack in the first week of March, with responses from more than 9,500 users from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities. Participants varied between 20 and 35 and belonged to a range of professions, including IT, healthcare, sales and marketing, social media content creators, finance, and more. Colour-coded connectionHoli has always been the perfect backdrop for chemistry and connection, and this year, in the digital dating world, GenZ singles have come up with a fun and unique new trend- daters are deciding compatibility based on colour choices. QuackQuack's data shows more than 21 per cent of matches initiated a conversation about "favorite gulal colours." Daters between 20 and 26 revealed people who chose red, blue, and yellow were categorized in the easy-going category. The ones who picked purple, green, and pink were put in the complicated category. If two users picked the same color, it was considered a sign to continue the match and see where it goes! Ishita from Gurgaon said, "It's nothing serious, just a cute way of finding your kind of people. The first category of people are ones who are happy with the basics, and the second category of people are more meticulous and specific. It was a fun little way of understanding and guessing each other's personality." Bhaang bonds and buddy systemQuackQuack revealed that Bhaang-fueled conversations have always been a Holi specialty, but this year, the interesting trend was how daters from Tier 1, 2, and 3 chose safety as their top priority. While over 3266 users from metros and suburbs disclosed starting a conversation with a stagnant match, they also revealed maintaining "the buddy system," where their closest friends would monitor the conversation to keep an eye out for red flags and warning bells. Tanmay (27) from Varanasi shared, "I decided to finally send that first message to my online crush, and I had my best friends reviewing all my messages, making sure I wasn't being inappropriate or "too out there" in any way." Pakka pyaar Vs Gulaal ghostersThis Holi, QuackQuack's female users explained how every festivity comes with its fair share of genuine connections and fleeting ones, too. While 9% of women revealed having met people who disappeared before the Holi colors could fade, and most of these were matches under 25, over 32% of women shared having met their perfect match and planning to meet IRL on Holi. Nimisha from Hampi said, "I met two people before Holi, one 25 and the other 29. I think the older ones are actually looking for serious connections while the younger men are still exploring. It's perfectly fine, and importantly, I struck up a great conversation with my second match." Holi safety checksWhile the festival of colour is famous for carefree fun, QuackQuack users maintained strict Holi safety checks. 19 per cent of men shared how their matches were insistent on public meetups and group events, and they also explained how that also takes off the pressure of a one-on-one setup. Sober Flirting was the trending word of the pre-Holi week.
13 March,2025 11:05 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
Women`s Day 2025
Genuine connections to safety, Indian women setting new rules for dating
Single women are setting fresh priorities in today’s evolving dating landscape, expecting genuine connections, shared values and a modern approach to chivalry that focuses on safety. According to a survey by dating app Tinder, 44 per cent of young female users in India are excited about meeting new people, with 38 per cent seeking new experiences. Interestingly, 29 per cent respondents appreciate the reduced pressure of finding a ‘happily ever after’. Here are some new rules that single women are prioritising. Respect over outdated gender roles According to the survey, 51 per cent of young female users say that keeping promises—like following through on a planned call or meeting on time—defines modern chivalry, proving that consistency beats mere gestures such as opening a door. Meanwhile, 36 per cent value being given full attention on a date over symbolic acts. While 31 per cent of single women expect basic respect for all genders and identities—such as using respectful language—as essential in dating, only 23 per cent consider an offer to pick up the tab on the first date a must. Safety as a standard More than half of respondents in India say that they would unmatch if they receive inappropriate messages, highlighting that respect truly begins with how one is treated. Not having clear profile pictures to identify a person is a big no when it comes to the dating app profile for more than half (53 per cent) of single women. Shirtless mirror selfies are also a no-go for more than a third of female users in the country. Connection and compatibility For 47 per cent of respondents, an incomplete profile is a big no—they want enough detail to see genuine interest and effort. Meanwhile, 37 per cent prefer profiles with multiple photos that showcase personality, and 35 per cent value shared interests and lifestyle. Additionally, 41 per cent say they dislike bios full of clichés, favouring originality, genuine self-expression and authenticity over generic phrases. “Modern dating is about rewriting the rulebook. It's no longer just about old-fashioned gestures, but about genuine respect and real connections. Women today prioritise mutual care over outdated norms, embracing relationships that truly resonate. Let’s celebrate this new era where every connection is built on the freedom to choose what feels right and safe,” says Dr Chandni Tugnait, Relationship Expert for Tinder in India. Also Read: Women's Day 2025 | 62 pc Indian women seeking partners who offer stability and emotional consistency: Survey
08 March,2025 05:19 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
International Women`s Day 2025
Female daters dive into what they think about interest vs insistence
The dating world, online or in real life (IRL), thrives on effort. But over 8,500 women told Indian dating app, QuackQuack, that the line between effort and annoyance is thin, and daters need to realise it sooner rather than later. 2 in 5 women noted that genuine interest is appreciable, but that coupled with over-persistence is a red flag; striking the right balance is everything.|Ahead of International Women's Day 2025 being celebrated on March 8, the survey was conducted among active female users aged 20 to 35 across all major Indian cities. Respondents belonged to various professional fields and socio-economic backgrounds. They were asked to share their experiences with persistence or its overplay, their perception of effort, and ways to date safely. The app's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, added, "In modern dating, emotional intelligence trumps almost all other qualities. Lasting connection while dating online is directly proportional to striking a balance between persistence with effort and giving your match their space to decide whether they are ready to accept all that you have to offer. Only when there's mutual interest is effort appreciated." Read the 'chat' roomThe response or lack of it should be indication enough if your match welcomes the work you are putting in, said 2,876 women between 25 and 30. 3 in 5 of these women revealed that if a match has not replied in a reasonable time frame, it is safe to assume they are not interested. Repeated messages or follow-ups are neither required nor welcome. Over 38% of the respondents shared they find it unsettling if a match relentlessly pursues the connection. Pritika from Delhi said, "Reading the room is very important in dating, online or offline. Double texting is okay, but the third time is not the charm in this case. It is much more appealing when a person gives their match space and time to respond." Digital boundariesApproximately 28 per cent of women from Tier 1 and 2 cities mentioned that they share their social media accounts with a match after 2 to 3 weeks of chatting. Among these respondents, 22 per cent disclosed that their matches have been respectful of their boundaries and continued the interaction in the dating app instead of bombarding them with DMs. Participants explained that sharing 'socials' is not an invitation to chat on those platforms; rather, in modern dating, it serves as "proof of life," validating the lifestyle they claimed to have and reinforcing their authenticity. A soft NO is still a NOThe survey results highlighted that over 19 per cent of women below 24 do not feel comfortable saying a direct "no" and prefer "kind deflection" over brutal rejections. They expressed how their empathy often forces them to ask for a raincheck instead of clean cuts. 3 in 4 of these women from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities mentioned that "I am busy" or "Let's see" is more often than not a soft no. In such cases, the key is to take the hint and move on. What's a two-way street? FlirtingA flirty text is fun only when it is reciprocated. One-sided flirtation can quickly escalate to uncomfortable interactions. 17 per cent of women above 30 disclosed trying their hands on flirting. 3533 female users from metros and suburbs revealed that women find it off-putting when a match continues to flirt despite receiving dry responses. Raima (26), software engineer from Kolkata, said, "If you get a HaHa for your flirty text, don't waste your flirting skills on them. It's a polite way of disengaging from the conversation." Interest and Insistence - understand the differenceGenuine interest in a match is charming, but the trick is to understand when that interest is turning into insistence. 2 in 6 women shared that people, including themselves, sometimes don't get that repeated texting might be suffocating for a match, that might have otherwise worked out well. Adrija, 31, said, "I strongly believe in not crossing the line between interest and desperation. I did it when I was young, but I've learned my lesson. If you don't get a response, it usually means the match is not interesting, and rarely means they need 10 reminders a day that you exist."
07 March,2025 01:20 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
Women`s Day 2025
62 pc Indian women seeking partners who offer stability: Survey
As we move through 2025, the dating world is witnessing a growing preference for compatibility, security and a shared vision for the future. In today’s fast-paced world, where things often seem uncertain or unpredictable, people are looking for something, or someone, that brings stability in their life. Women are leading this shift, setting new standards for modern relationships. According to the 2025 Dating Trends Report by Bumble, 6 in 10 (62 per cent) women in India say they are now seeking a partner who offers emotional consistency, reliability and clear life goals. With rising concerns over the cost of living, politics, climate change, and more, single women are seeking stability in all aspects of life—including romance. From choosing emotionally consistent, reliable partners with clear life goals, to having deep conversations early, and making fewer compromises, this quality-over-quantity mindset helps people focus on what truly matters, leading to more fulfilling relationships. Following this ‘future-proofing’ trend, 7 in 10 Indian women (70 per cent) are pushing for important topics to be discussed earlier than before, leading to candid conversations about budgeting, housing, climate change and job ambitions. Jayesha Deokar, a Bumble user, said, “Dating used to feel like a guessing game, but now I’m upfront about what I want from the start. I’m looking for someone who is emotionally consistent and shares my long-term goals—no more wasting time on uncertainty. Future-proofing is a trend that really resonated with me and has helped me put into perspective what I really want out of a relationship.” Further elaborating on this mindset, relationship expert Ruchi Ruuh shares, “In a world that feels chaotic, women are setting the tone and owning their own dating journeys, especially since they’re more likely to feel increasingly concerned about their future as compared to men, according to Bumble’s survey. Hence, we've observed that we’ve all had to get a bit more comfortable with having talks about big topics, earlier on. While having candid conversations about budgeting, housing, climate change and job ambitions might be intimidating a few dates in, it can be quite healthy to have these discussions from the start so you and your date can make sure that you’re on the same page for the important things, and the dating app’s insights say people are doing this more and more.” Also Read: 'Slow paced dating': More Indians in Tier-2 and 3 cities don't rush into relationships, says survey
02 March,2025 12:56 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
'Slow paced dating': More Indians in small cities don't rush into relationships
Romance, like fashion, adapts to its surroundings. While metros have long been in the limelight as the torchbearers of online dating, Tier 2 and 3 cities are not far behind -- maintaining a seamless balance between modern and traditional, smaller cities and towns in India are going through a fascinating evolution in the way they find love and friendships. Indian dating app, QuackQuack, studied 11,678 active daters from Tier 2 and 3 cities. Participants ranged between 18 and 35, with mixed professional backgrounds from IT professionals, teachers, business owners, sales and marketing specialists, and more. A good portion of the respondents are students and professionals pursuing higher studies. QuackQuack's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, commented on the survey, "We are looking to understand the trends of smaller cities and towns, where a major part of our users come from; there's certainly a growing comfort of online dating among them, but also their dating patterns has a unique cultural touch which sets them apart from Metro daters, and that difference needs to be studied better to provide suitable experiences tailored for these daters." Slow paced datingWhile 2025 saw the rise of Flash Connection among GenZ and a portion of Millennials, the data was more partial toward Tier 1 daters. QuackQuack's survey shows Tier 2 and 3 city daters still favour slow-paced dating. Over 38 per cent of daters from these smaller cities prefer to continue conversations over the app even after a month of connecting. The thrill of "Instant Connection" is on the backseat to well-paced interactions. Namita (27) from Mysore said, "I have lived in Bangalore, and I can tell that the classic gradual courtship is far more popular in interior India than in bigger cities." Marriage and friendship on the mindEven though traditions still hold value in Tier 2 and 3 cities, the rush to get married has reduced considerably, according to the data. 2 in 5 men above 27 are open to serious relationships, while 3 in 5 women above 25 are looking for genuine friendships on the app. Interestingly, most daters have moved from thinking of dating apps as a 'shortcut to weddings' to a 'platform to form meaningful connections before settling down.' Tushar, 33-year-old English teacher, said, "I am still unmarried, but that does not mean I would rush the matching process. I am here for something real that can lead to serious commitment, maybe even a lifetime one."Cross-city connectionsCross-city connections are not just reserved for Metros. The survey shows the trend is more relevant among Tier 2 and 3 daters. 4387 women revealed deliberately connecting with men from Tier 1 cities for the big-city dating experience. Some respondents also disclosed matching with users from cities they were scheduled to move to for their jobs. Niharika (25) said, "I was first posted in Delhi, which is quite far from my hometown. So before leaving, I found people from there. The idea was not limited to dating. I wanted to have connections in the new place, plus it's also great for professional networking." Friends as matchmakersOne unique trend noticed in Tier 3 cities is the involvement of friends, even in online dating. Over 3500 men between 20 and 25 shared how their friends and cousins convinced them to get on the app, helped them set up their profiles, and sometimes even helped select compatible matches during the initial days. Family opinions matterThe survey shed light on the shift from the "secret dating life of Tier 2 and 3 daters" to not being a secret anymore. Nearly 19% of daters, mostly men, admitted that their families are aware of their dating life and are rarely unintrusive about it. Daters' whose families know are noted to be mostly seeking serious long-term relationships- their families have strong opinions on their matches, and as disclosed by these users, those opinions matter to them and hold the power to sway their decisions.
01 March,2025 01:57 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
From 'Love-Proofing' to 'Re-Connect Rush': Trends that took over V-Day
The 2025 Love Week came with romance, pressure, and new trends, many of which will define this year not only among Millennials but also Gen-Z. A consumer survey by Indian dating app, QuackQuack, highlighted the shift in daters' approach toward the day and differences between the two generations. There was a steady mix of 'follow the tradition' and 'challenge the norms.' GenZs, as reported by the app, called the day a consumerist trap and repetitive. QuackQuack's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, "There was a significant rise in matches on the 12 and 13 of February, with a comparative dip on the 14. The same was noted in terms of chat length and messages. We also noticed the re-connect rush among Millennials, along with some surprising dating behavior among the Gen-Z." The study was conducted among 13,400 active users between 18 and 35 across 12 Indian states, providing valuable insight into their experiences, expectations, and trends. The "Love-Proofing" Trend among GenZsA noticeable increase in anti-Valentine sentiment was recorded among younger daters, making them seem almost "love-proof" this Day of Love. Participants between 18 and 25 saw the day as an overly commercialized event. More than 12% of the respondents voiced their resentment over the pressure to showcase some grand gesture and participate in obligatory gift-giving with a "more the price of the gift, more your interest" attitude. 20-year-old college student Vignesh shared how he was forced to be "love proof" this Love Day, "Honestly, I wanted to go on a date with my long-time match on 14; instead, I had to 'love-proof' myself. It's the finances. My wallet isn't deep enough to buy an expensive gift or go to an over-priced restaurant. At the same time, if I can't do that, it might hurt my match. It was a lose-lose situation." Gen-Z's paradox of participationWhile the younger generation of daters openly criticised the hype around the day of love and went so far as to call it "outdated," QuackQuack's data revealed that most of these daters actively sought matches, planned last-minute dates, and non-dates with platonic friends on the app; only 9% skipped the day altogether. This trend also highlighted an underlying pressure to "do something" among the young daters below 24. Pranav, 23-year-old Phd scholar, commented, "I decided to skip the day. But, honestly, the FOMO that I felt after watching all the 'couple posts' on my social media made me wonder if deep down I wanted to celebrate but was worried about looking uncool." On the other hand, Ananya (24) from Delhi explained, "I was not planning on doing anything, but I swear, my feed was full of couple photos. I felt so left out that I found a match at the last minute and went out." The "Re-Connect Rush"The Re-Connect Rush trend was rampant among the crowd between 28 and 35 from Tier 1, 2, and 3 cities. Respondents disclosed revisiting past connections and initiated chats with matches that have been dormant for over 3 months. The claim was backed by QuackQuack's data showing a spike in chats among stagnant matches around the Love Week. 17% of men and 11% of women revealed planning dates with their "rekindled matches" and finding the compatibility better than the matches they were locked in on. The MVPs - Friend-zoning and multiple match maniaThe fear of missing out drove both singles and daters in undefined relationships to explore multiple matches. 5611 single men and 3786 women revealed rushing to match at the beginning of the month but moved on to the trending "Friend Zone," where they sought genuine companions online right before the d-day owing to the hurried nature of the matches. Jhelum from Mumbai said, "I was desperate to find a date and randomly matched with men. But when I saw the same desperation in them, it hit me that these matches will never work." Singles were not the only ones active on the app; the survey data revealed that 2 in 7 users who have been consistently interacting with a single match for more than 3 weeks engaged in the Multiple Match Mania trend, where they connected and chatted with new matches closer to the day
21 February,2025 06:33 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
‘It brought us closer’: The secret to making long-distance relationships work
Would we be able to stay away from each other? What if we grow apart? Is this person worth waiting for? When will we meet again? What does the future hold? These are just some questions that couples might find themselves deliberating upon when the mention of a ‘long-distance relationship’ comes up. And rightly so, because being miles apart from the person you love isn’t exactly an easy task. However, when you find someone worth holding on to, would you want the relationship to fall apart only because you both don’t live in the same place? Riya and Aman (names changed), who have been in a long-distance relationship for three years, didn’t let the distance between Mumbai and Bangalore affect their bond. “Honestly, we didn’t think about it that much. We just went with the flow, and navigated situations and challenges as they appeared,” says Riya. Aman adds, “I feel the distance has brought us closer. When you can’t go out or celebrate together, the primary way of bonding is by talking. And these conversations have led to us getting to know each other better.” Factors to consider While the couple embraced long-distance relationship, the arrangement doesn’t come without challenges. “There are times when we feel like celebrating together or having the other by our side in situations of sadness or happiness, but it isn’t always possible,” Aman expresses. While relationships in general can pose several challenges, distance adds another layer to it. Perhaps that’s why couples are often hesitant to opt for long-distance relationships. Jasdeep Mago Jethani, a Mumbai-based neuropsychologist and psychotherapist, explains, “People usually hesitate to get into a long-distance relationship due to two primary issues. The first one is the question of trust. Can I trust this person to be loyal to me when I am not around? The second issue is that of ‘What if’. What if they make a better life where they are without me, and then don’t need me?” Several other challenges further complicate this arrangement. According to Jethani, the most common challenges that can arise in a long-distance relationship are: Communication gap: Depending on the geography, type of job, lifestyle, etc., communication gaps can often occur in a long-distance relationship. “This can be overcome by setting certain guidelines and ideating ways to connect with each other without being intrusive,” she remarks. Trust issues: Several questions relating to one's partner can arise in an individual’s mind: Whom are they talking to? Whom are they spending time with? Which friends are they hanging out with? Are they telling me the truth? Can I trust the people around my partner? “These trust issues and questions can arise due to two reasons: internal insecurities and actual proof. In order to navigate this, you should figure out which one of the above is causing it and then have a conversation with your partner accordingly,” Jethani states. Growing apart: This is a major challenge in long-distance relationships. A common question is: What if we grow into two different individuals and don’t have the same interests we have today? “This is a conversation that couples should have throughout the relationship to know where each one stands,” she says. While these are challenges that arise after the long-distance relationship begins, there are some factors that one should consider and conversations one should have before opting for this arrangement. Paying heed to these points can ease the burden later. Bangalore-based relationship coach Radhika Mohta shares, “What tops this list irrespective of geography, distance, time zones, etc. is the question: Do you have the financial resources and the emotional bandwidth to be able to handle a long-distance relationship?” “No matter what technology has come in and how close we feel because of virtual communication, sometimes you just want to hold hands with your partner, or share a meal with them, or want to be a part of each other’s highs and lows. That is when last-minute buses, trains, cabs, flights cost money. So, that is something to consider in advance,” she explains. “And in terms of emotional bandwidth, if one partner needs constant reassurance of togetherness, then a long-distance relationship can get difficult,” she adds. Jasdeep Mago Jethani (L); Radhika Mohta (R) Making long-distance relationships work While difficulties arise, couples can bridge the physical distance using innovative ways. Riya reveals, “We had to figure out ways to bond and spend time together. From virtual movie-watching experiences to online games, we tried different things.” “We used to have a movie night every Friday. That time was reserved for each other,” Aman adds. Additionally, the couple also found ways to meet each other whenever possible, planning their trips in a way that they could celebrate important occasions together. Jethani shares the following ways to strengthen one’s bond in a long-distance relationship: Make each other a part of your life. Talk to each other about your friends, work, new hobbies, interests, etc. If you are growing into a different individual, let them grow with you. When you include each other in these parts of your life, it creates a sense of belonging and togetherness, and that’s what keeps people going despite the distance. Have healthy boundaries in terms of time and space. Be sensitive towards each other’s goals and commitments, and set boundaries accordingly. Don’t be too involved in making short-term plans like when you are meeting next. It's good to make plans, but better to focus on the bigger dreams and goals that have led to this arrangement. What’s the dream you have, individually and together? This mindset keeps people united. Mohta shares the following tips: Engage in shared experiences virtually, whether it is video calls, playing online games or participating in an activity together like learning a new language. Through this, you grow together, and it also makes for something to talk about. Rituals work well in long-distance relationships. “I know this couple who was in a long-distance relationship between Mumbai and Europe. The ritual of doing a movie date night online every weekend worked out well for them. The ritual can also look like one person calling the other every morning, and both starting their day together,” Mohta states. A room for grace is important. There will be times when your partner might not pick up the call on time, their battery might die, etc. One must not consider these situations as potential threats to the relationship. This comes when people are assured about their relationship and trust each other. “It’s important to have a vision board together. In the short term, what are you looking forward to collectively? In the long term, when are you planning to be together in the same location? The ‘why’ of the relationship needs to be strong,” Mohta concludes. Also Read: Valentine's Day 2025: Loved or love bombed? Here's how to differentiate
14 February,2025 06:01 PM IST | Mumbai | Raaina Jain
6 out of 10 Indians say V-Day is about love; others call it just another day
Valentine's Day -- the day of grand romantic gestures for some and sitting at home with no plans for others. To settle the debate on the importance of the day, India dating app with over 35 million users, QuackQuack, surveyed over 12,000 daters. The results revealed an interesting insight, putting people into two primary groups- the lovebirds who wait eagerly for it and those who think the February 14 is just another Friday. The app's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, "In the weeks leading up to Valentine's Day, we see a lot of changes in users' dating patterns. Our survey shows approximately 6 in 10 daters are all wrapped up in planning and in on the love fest, and it reflects on their chat pattern and login period." Data for the survey conducted in the first week of February was collected from Tier 1, 2, and 3 daters aged 18 to 38. Respondents included a mix of new joiners, daters using the app for more than four months, singles, couples, and long-distance matches for a more exhaustive insight. Pessimists Vs OptimistsValentine's Day painted two different pictures for the pessimists and the optimists. 23 per cent of daters above 26 called it yet another reminder of their relationship status, more so, the lack of it. On the other hand, 3 in 5 daters disclosed seeing it as a motivating factor, pushing them to send out first messages and follow up on matches gone cold. QuackQuack's data backs this claim by revealing a significant uptick in messages and last-minute matches. 27-year-old Tarun from New Delhi said, "Call it the fear to dine alone or the eagerness to share a candlelight dinner with someone special, the fast approaching Valentine's Day really drove me to take a proactive measure to find a match, and I actually found one." Speaking for the other half, Nivedita (31) remarked, "It might come off as pessimistic, but I am just being a realist; I don't think the V-Day matches will work out because they are so rushed and desperate. After all, it's just another day; why give it so much power?" The couples' take on the day2 in 6 online couples from Tier 1 cities are noted planning an IRL meet-up, and more than 900 respondents from Tier 2 and 3 cities revealed their plans for a first-time virtual date with their matches. Prerna and Kaushal, a couple from Bangalore, said, "We have been chatting for a month now, and Valentine's Day seemed like the perfect moment to make a real-life introduction." There is a significant rise in first-time rendezvous plans among cross-city matches. On the other side of the poll, some QuackQuack couples are keeping it low-key, opting to continue the day as any other, with 9 per cent of them claiming they don't believe in the concept of Valentine's Day and celebrating one day in a grand scale instead of making a continuous and sustainable effort every single day. Gen Z Vs MillennialsIn general, the survey showed a stark difference between GenZ's and Millennials' approach to V-day. 22-year-old civil service aspirant Naren commented, "Let's rename it the pressure cooker day because we are cooked if we plan a bad date and cooked in the process of planning the best date." 2560 daters between 20 and 25 revealed disliking the commercialization of the day and how "bigger gifts are equated with bigger love" have put so many people under immense pressure. Millennials, on the flip side, have mixed sentiments for the day- 13% of female daters are reportedly embracing the spirit of love, while 2 in 5 men claim to be over it, feeling the 'pressure' of all things heart-shaped and the unquenchable expectations. Pre-Valentine rushThe day is not just a big deal among couples; for the singles, it is the season of finally scoring a match. QuackQuack reveals a noticeable spike in traffic on the app since the beginning of February, indicating a pre-Valentine rush. Contrary to popular belief, not all are rushing to match. At least 2 in 10 daters between 25 and 35 also looked for friends to beat the loneliness and gain a sense of general reassurance that being single on Valentine's Day is not a social disaster and they are not alone in this.
14 February,2025 04:13 PM IST | Mumbai | mid-day online correspondent
V-Day: What does love mean for unmarried single Mumbaikars in their 30s and 40s?
Love in your teens gives you butterflies in your stomach, makes your heart skip a beat and even makes you fall head over heels for that one person, or maybe more than one person over the years. This changes once you are in your 20s as more people look for a serious relationship. While it works for some, it doesn’t for others. Traditionally, most Indians get married or are expected to tie the knot in their 20s but that may not always be the case, as life and relationships unfold in so many unique ways for different people. With friends and extended family getting married during this time, family and neighbours get on the bandwagon asking you when you are next. While it is easier to answer for those who are in relationships and have probably set their eyes on marriage in the near future, the pressure may often get to those who are not only unmarried but also single in their 30s, it changes further when many have to address it in their 40s. While unmarried and married couples showcase their love for each other on Valentine’s Day, it is the unmarried single 30 and 40 year olds who are often pushed to the back of the room, and often shown pity. Mid-day spoke to Mumbaikars, who are in their 30s and 40s to ask what love means to them now and how it has changed from 10 years ago. Karen Fernandes, 33 years oldLove in my 30s is about depth, clarity, and ease. It’s more about being built on trust, emotional safety, and mutual growth. It’s knowing who I am, valuing connection over validation, and choosing someone who feels like home rather than a chase. In my 20s, love was idealistic, intoxicating, and sometimes uncertain—a lot of learning through intensity. Now, it’s intentional. It’s not about proving love but sustaining it, not about finding the ‘right’ person but building something real with the right energy. Less chaos, more compatibility. Rasika Pote, 34 years old For a 30-something finding an emotionally available partner is the biggest challenge. Also, it’s easier to find love in your 20s because I guess you are more open to the idea of love and have patience to build relationships it ground up. While in your, 30s honestly, I feel I have become 95 per cent of the man I want to have in my life. For the remaining 5 per cent, no man in his 30s has the emotional bandwidth. At 34, I have started questioning the concept of love as while you are still ready to pour but there is unfortunately nobody to receive it out there. Russell Lopez, 40 years oldIn my 30s, I believed that it's all about finding the right kind of person who you have the most number of interests in common with and that is what forms the solid foundation for a love relationship. Also, love is not about how that person is right now, it is more about how that person will grow/change and that's the journey you want to share with that person. In my 40s, the definition of love has mostly been the same with the added realisation that people are constantly changing and growing. So, finding love is more about the odds of you and the other person being in the same emotional wavelength at the same time and then finding each other. If all that falls into place, then the definition is how and where you want both your lives to grow (direction wise) because at that age the decisions are bigger and have more lasting impact (house, kids, future, business). Whenever people ask me about getting married and the societal pressure, you know that meme about ‘When you accept that you are cringe, you can live freely’. That’s what it feels like when people ask you about being unmarried in your 40s.Shweta Mehrotra It’s straight forward, no pretence and less room for ‘pleasing to be liked’ and even lesser room for drama. In the 40’s, you’re happy being with yourself so there’s no desperation to be in and out of relationships or to be in one so you’re not left alone. You seek friendship that could culminate into companionship, something that is seamless so your partner becomes part of your already existing wholesome ecosystem and I think that’s amazing. Most importantly, there is no pressure to get married and have kids. In my 30s, I was dealing with a lot on the career front, personal life, monetary life, social and family. It’s a heightened sense of all sort of pressure because you’re at your peak and you’re trying to cover many grounds. In all of that, finding love is blissful and finding one that’s there to stay is the best thing.
14 February,2025 03:20 PM IST | Mumbai | Nascimento Pinto