This is about finding a compromise that works, and reminding yourself that you are with him for a reason. It’s okay to have a short attention span if he isn’t disrespectful when you meet
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently met a woman on a dating app, and we have been chatting a lot over the past few weeks. She likes me a lot, but I think we are both too suspicious of each other. I want to meet her and get to know her but am always worried that she may turn out to be the opposite of what she comes across as online. A few days ago, I asked if we should meet, and she said she would rather chat for a while longer until she felt safe or comfortable enough to hang out in public. Is this a sign that we are not destined to consider a relationship, given how we can’t even trust each other enough to meet?
It’s okay to be wary of anyone you meet online, and smart to feel comfortable enough with each other first. Why not do as she suggests, and try getting to know her too, before making that first step? If it goes on for too long and you feel as if meeting is imperative before continuing a conversation, you can set a potential date for the future. Either way, you have nothing to lose as long as you both keep lines of communication open and talk about things that let you find out what the other person is really like. Maintaining an online persona takes work, so it’s only a matter of time before you start to get an idea of what you’re both really like.
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My boyfriend is always distracted when we chat, and it feels disrespectful even though I know he is always like this because he has a short attention span. Am I being difficult by insisting that he focus? It makes him feel as if I am too controlling.
This is about finding a compromise that works, and reminding yourself that you are with him for a reason. It’s okay to have a short attention span if he isn’t disrespectful when you meet. Try and find a balance that works.
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