You can call him out whenever he says something you perceive as hurtful and reiterate it until he gets it. This is simply about improving communication skills
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have begun to have feelings for my best friend and don’t know what to do about them. We have known each other since school. We know each other’s secrets, spend time in each other’s homes, and have almost grown up together. I don’t know when these feelings first started to appear, but I can’t get him out of my mind now and am trying my best to be neutral without giving him any hint that something has changed. I have no one to confide in because he is pretty much the closest friend I have, so this makes it hard for me to try and understand whether this is just an infatuation. Should I tell him how I’m feeling and ask if he feels the same way? I am only afraid to be honest because I don’t want to cause any harm. I am also worried about being devastated if he responds saying he has no such feelings for me at all. What should I do?
If this is a best friend who knows all your secrets, you owe him the honesty of telling him what you’re dealing with. Fear of rejection is valid and real, but you need your friend to help you understand this. If he cares about you, and he obviously does, he won’t hurt you, and will give this issue the attention and respect it deserves. Maybe an honest conversation is all you need to understand your own feelings better and allow him to look at this friendship from your perspective. There may be some lingering awkwardness if he doesn’t reciprocate, but this isn’t the kind of thing that can cause long-term damage if you are both aware of what you mean to each other.
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My boyfriend is always blunt to the point where it almost seems hurtful. How do I get him to change that?
You can call him out whenever he says something you perceive as hurtful and reiterate it until he gets it. This is simply about improving communication skills.
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