My friends just don’t like him...

I am a 26-year-old in love with a guy who is around two years older, and whom none of my friends like. They have been telling me to ditch him for months now, because they think he is dismissive towards me as well as them. They dont see the sides of him that I do, but I also recognise that they have some genuine concerns because he does behave badly at times. The problem is that I am genuinely in love with him and believe I can get him to change. The longer I reject my friends advice, the more they feel as if I dont care about them or their opinions. I feel as if I am being made to choose and its tearing me apart. What should I do?You say you are aware of bad behaviour on your boyfriends part but believe you can change him. to base a relationship on what might be, rather than what is, may be a risk in the long run because change isnt always possible if someone doesnt want it to happen. If you see signs of something that makes you uncomfortable, the sooner you confront this, the easier it may be for you to look at your relationship more objectively. Your friends presumably care about you and have given you their reasons for why you shouldnt be with this person. Try stepping back and looking at this from their perspective, even if it may be difficult for you to separate any feelings from your point of view. Sometimes, it takes an outsider to identify a blind spot, so you should take what they say seriously. Being in love with someone also brings with it the risk of glossing over their faults, which may work at the start of a relationship but cant be sustained because it may start to harm you. You dont have to choose between your boyfriend and your friends, but you do need to think about yourself and what you want out of this. The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com