If he isn’t working on his priorities or giving you the respect you feel you deserve, tell him why and how things need to change
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Whenever we have an argument, my husband will not accept apologies from me no matter what I say. It takes him days to start speaking to me normally and it causes a lot of pain. He says he doesn’t do it on purpose, but I can’t handle it because I know I am setting myself up for a week of misery whenever we fight. It’s extremely passive aggressive and he doesn’t want to do anything about it because he thinks it’s normal. I am so stressed on those days that I barely feel like myself. How do I get him to take my feelings seriously and be a little more mature about the way he treats me?
What your husband is doing is unforgivable because it borders on emotional abuse. His ability to brush off your concerns makes it worse because it’s a form of gaslighting. He can’t tell you how to feel, nor can he absolve himself by assuming his behaviour is normal. Call him out on it even if it leads to an argument and insist on a resolution because this sort of continued behaviour can cause a serious rift in your relationship. If he can’t manage his anger and doesn’t want to accept that he is being passive aggressive, he may need to hear it from someone else. Ask him to speak with a counsellor and accompany him so you can get a professional to evaluate this and help him find the right tools to cope.
I’m not happy with my relationship because my boyfriend has a dog that doesn’t get along with me. He treats the dog like a child, which is fine, except that I am the one supposed to adjust to his pet’s routine. What do I do?
Your boyfriend is entitled to love you as well as his pet, until that starts to be a problem. If he isn’t working on his priorities or giving you the respect you feel you deserve, tell him why and how things need to change.
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