Ask yourself why you feel the way you do, and also if you are looking for attention that goes beyond the professional. It is also important to know what your boundaries are before you explain them to anyone
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I have a great relationship, but one of the things that bothers me is his poor communication skills. When we meet, he is kind, attentive, and loving but, when we are chatting online or viz text message, he turns into this curt person who doesn’t give out any warmth or interest. He feels like a robot, like someone chatting with a colleague rather than a friend. I have tried to talk to him about this, and I think he struggles to be more welcoming which is why I am patient. Is this something I should worry about, or just a minor quirk I should learn to live with? It doesn’t affect our relationship in any way yet, but I would like him to be nicer as a person while chatting with anyone, not just me. Am I being too hard on him?
You have told him what you would like, and he has expressed willingness to work on that aspect of your relationship. If this doesn’t affect your feelings for each other in any way, it is entirely up to you to pursue this until he changes or accept it as one of the things that make him who he is. We can’t always change how we interact with other people, but what you can do is go by how he behaves with you in real life rather than how he communicates online. Communication can be learned, but it can also take some people time.
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If you have a question, ask him directly. If it makes you uncomfortable, call him out. It’s possible that there may be some misinterpretation here, so being clear and drawing boundaries is important from the start. Ask yourself why you feel the way you do, and also if you are looking for attention that goes beyond the professional. It is also important to know what your boundaries are before you explain them to anyone.
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