How do we resolve this when he won’t even think about my suggestion?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am dating a guy who is very conservative in his outlook towards life. He is always worried about what people may think and lives his life in a very old-fashioned manner. He and I have been dating for over a year-and-a-half, but he always refuses to consider the idea of living together which I really want to try. I love him and know it is mutual, but I don’t want to commit to an engagement or marriage without understanding what my life will be like if I live with him. He doesn’t get this at all and thinks everything will be perfect if we just commit to a permanent relationship. I am serious about him and don’t want to break up for this reason, but I am also certain that I will not agree to anything unless I get to know what living with him is like. How do we resolve this when he won’t even think about my suggestion?
You can’t resolve it if you have reached an impasse where neither of you wants to back down. Your demands are perfectly reasonable, and his conservatism is a result of how he has been raised. The only way forward is to talk about whether you both want this to work, and how much you are willing to do individually to make that possible. If you can’t find a solution, it is also a sign that you may both struggle to make this work when it comes to future challenges. Navigating your way through difficult situations together is almost inevitable in any partnership, and this should be treated as a serious test.
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Why does a guy I like keep coming back to me after saying he doesn’t want a relationship?
How do you feel? Do you want him to get into a relationship with you? If he can’t make up his mind, ask him how much time he needs. If he doesn’t have a response, give yourself a deadline and stop waiting beyond a point.
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