You should be able to speak about anything, even if it is difficult, if your relationship is strong enough
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend repeatedly gets into fights with my friends even though he knows it hurts me a lot. They have nothing in common with each other and I have known this for a while, which is why I have always kept them separate. They end up meeting at times when it’s my birthday or on special occasions, and there is nothing I can do to prevent that. Whenever this happens, there is always an argument that ends with them saying horrible things to each other and hurting me in the process. My boyfriend thinks I should get new friends, while my friends want me to break up with him. I am always stressed and caught between the two. How can I resolve this?
You can’t resolve it and shouldn’t have to because this is between them, and they are all presumably adults. If they know their behaviour is hurtful to you but continue to do it anyway, it shows a lack of respect for you and your feelings. I suggest you speak to them as a group, tell them that you intend to step back and allow them to work out their differences, and state clearly that their actions are hurting you. If that doesn’t compel them to try and act with a little more maturity, you can either accept that you will have to work around this or make some difficult decisions about whom you want to spend time with. If this means never meeting them all together at once, that may be best.
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I want to tell my girlfriend that her mother doesn’t like me, but don’t know how she will react to this. I don’t even know if I am just imagining it. Should I just keep this to myself?
You should be able to speak about anything, even if it is difficult, if your relationship is strong enough. If you can’t, it’s a sign that you should work on strengthening that bond with your girlfriend first.
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