It takes time to meet someone you want to be with. It also makes sense to not have to coerce someone into being with you
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My partner and I have been in a long-distance relationship for over a-year-and-a-half. We have finally had enough of this and want to move in together. I have decided to quit my job and travel to his city, but there is a nagging fear about what this will do to my career or future. If our relationship doesn’t work out, I will be in a place with no support system, no family or friends, and no professional opportunities. He is confident that we will make this work, and I want it, too, but it’s a big step and I have been struggling with a lot of anxiety. Am I doing the right thing? Should I wait for another year and see how I feel about him before agreeing to this?
You may feel the same way a year from now, because packing your bags and moving in with someone will always be fraught with anxiety. You’re right about the impact on your professional and personal life, and the lack of a support system will be a handicap for a while, but this is the best way to find out if your relationship can work. If you are both committed to each other and presumably doing this because you want your relationship to evolve, moving in should answer all your questions. Ultimately, your decision should be based on how much you love and trust your partner. If there are doubts on either of those fronts, wait. If there aren’t, now is as good a time to move as any.
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I have decided to stop chasing people because I am tired of trying to convince them to get into relationships with me. Will this make me a lonely and bitter person?
It takes time to meet someone you want to be with. It also makes sense to not have to coerce someone into being with you. Writing it off completely sounds premature though. As for loneliness, it affects people differently, but is an undeniably difficult condition.
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