Maximum city. Maximum noise

The recent festivities saw decibel levels reach unimaginable levels in the city and suburbs. Our sutradhaars, who had to take makeshift remedial measures, hope the scenario doesn’t get out of hand

Is that you, Pheroze? And if so, then what is that sprouting from your ears?” Lady Flora announced her arrival at their usual meeting spot where she hung out with her friend Sir Pherozeshah Mehta. 

Sir PM swung around and greeted his friend, albeit exercising some degree of caution. “Oh, my lady…it’s you after all! I didn’t hear your footsteps since I was listening to this. You can blame it on this new apparatus that my cousin Sohrab gifted me. He felt I needed it in these times,” the former lawmaker and administrator handed over a pair of headphones to his friend for her inspection. She looked at it with a lot of curiosity. “So tell me, Pheroze, why are you wearing it on your ears, and what is its main purpose?” Lady Flora asked. “You see…these are called noise-cancellation headphones. You can listen to music with it; they cancel out the background bustle and din for a fantastic experience. It was extremely handy for me these past weeks,” Sir PM replied, taking her through the motions of how it worked. 

“Pray, what episode led to you having to take such steps? Hope nothing too serious….? Lady Flora was keen to get to the bottom of this development. “This year, as things opened up, I discovered that decibel levels had reached unimaginable levels during the recently concluded festival. After two years of a lull, people seemed to have thrown all caution to the wind. Simply put, the city was at its noisiest worst. In fact, I read in the newspaper that in some places, it had reached the level of the sound that is created by a jumbo jet!” sighed Sir PM, quickly adding, “And where I stand, it’s uncontrollable. So I felt listening to music on this unique apparatus might help. At least, I had Bach and Beethovan to calm my frayed nerves around the jamboree that carried on below,” he chimed in.

“My goodness, dear Pheroze you seemed to have been through a torrid time. The scenario doesn’t augur well at all. I mean, it will be a while before the festive season winds up for the year. And going from what you’ve just shared as well as what good Dr Viegas also filled me in, it’s not looking good. It’s one thing to show your devotion but another altogether when it becomes a nuisance. These days, and I am no expert here, but it’s evident that there is nothing devotional to the heart-throbbing, sinus-inducing sounds that I’ve been hearing, only in bits and pieces, thankfully. Even the Gods in heaven must be in shock, wondering what sort of connect it might have to the prayers in their name. Surely, they wouldn’t wish to be associated with this kind of disruptive music,” argued Lady Flora, who by now was taking turns with her friend to listen to music on the new acquisition.

“I wonder if this going to be monitored at any level; I am curious to know if my former bosses will actually take any cognizance and act or actual ensure we don’t have a repeat of such high decibel levels as we move ahead,” Sir PM’s faced turned a tad grim. “You’re so right, Pheroze. Shouldn’t it be the role of the civic authorities to keep a check on such things? After all, we live in a civilised society, where the majority shouldn’t be inconvenienced, isn’t it?” Lady Flora exclaimed. 

“Yes, my lady. What you say is spot on; but I fear I might be in a minority. Ever since lockdown restrictions have been lifted, I am witnessing all kinds of unmentionable breaking of basic decorum and civic sense, from not wearing of masks in crowded places to the sound levels that are breaking barriers. And nobody seems to be listening, to tell you the truth,” Sir PM tried to explain the reasons for his slightly despondent line of reasoning. “I see your point, Pheroze. We might very well be in a tiny minority,” she added. 

“I can only hope that the general public eventually realise that these actions add to noise pollution in a city that is already under threat from so many other factors, and responsible behaviour can go a long way for the greater good of all. Festivals, after all, were never meant to be noisy but pious celebrations invoking the Gods,” reasoned Sir PM. “I’d better ask cousin Sohrab for more music recommendations in case things get out of hand in the coming months. Oh yes, and my lady, you are most welcome to come by for a joint music listening session,” he winked.

mid-day’s Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city’s sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana
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