He is taking me for granted. I am fed up!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I have been friends with this guy for almost five years, and it always seems as if I am his back-up plan whenever something falls through. If he wants to go out and everyone else is busy, he calls me. I always go because I like him and like spending time with him, but it is becoming a little tiresome because I can now see quite clearly that he takes me for granted. He forgot to wish me on my birthday last week, which is something I would never do to him. If this friendship isn't equal in any way, am I wasting my time by investing in it? Am I being too needy, or should I simply lower my expectations?
You shouldn't have to lower your expectations from what you want out of any relationship. You can always make compromises, because we never get what we really want, but that should come from a place of respect, where two people are trying their best. If this friend doesn't display the same kind of respect for you and the time you give him, you have to ask yourself if what you are getting out of this friendship is enough. It's perfectly acceptable to be happy in an unequal situation, but your resentment may someday overshadow the happiness. Ultimately, this is a decision you alone can make. I suggest you start by evaluating what the pros and cons of having this person in your life are. These tend to change with time, so what may have been important five years ago may not be relevant anymore.

My girlfriend has an eating disorder but doesn't like talking about it. This worries me because I know it can cause her some serious harm. What should I do?
It is important for a professional to arrive at that diagnosis, so sharing your concerns with friends or family may help you get a second opinion.

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