Friend is in love with me, I am not!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

A friend of mine whom I am very fond of, has been asking me to consider a relationship with him. He makes valid points about why we would be good together, but I don't see it happening because I have never had romantic feelings for him. Should I do this just because it is a logical decision? If it doesn't work out, I will end up losing a boyfriend as well as a friend, which I don't want to risk. I am very fond of him and don't want to hurt him. What should I do?
This sounds more like an arranged marriage than a story of two people in love. There may be a hundred great reasons why the two of you should be together, but none of them may be strong enough if you don't share the same feelings for each other. If you don't want to hurt him, and want him in your life as a friend, your decision must be based upon the possibility of both things occurring if a romantic relationship doesn't work out. I suggest you tell him this as a friend and explain why the risks outweigh any possible pros he can come up with. It may not be an easy conversation, but you can both take this one step at a time. You may start to change the way you feel about him some day, but that may also never happen, and he needs to know it.

My boyfriend usually doesn't react to my declarations of love with enthusiasm. I don't know if this is a sign that he isn't as interested in a relationship with me. Could it also mean that he is in love with someone else, or am I simply reading too much into these signs?
We profess things differently, and he may simply have a different way of expressing how he feels. To assume this implies a lack of interest, or the possibility of him being in love with someone else, is a huge jump.

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