She expects me to make the introduction but I have been putting it off and it is starting to make her feel as if I am deliberately keeping him away from her
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have a close friend who has a huge crush on my colleague. I want them to get together, but I hesitate because I don’t know much about my colleague and can’t say whether he is a good person. I know he is single, but I also know that he goes on a lot of dates because he talks about them at times when we are in the office canteen. I want to make sure my friend is okay and has made the right decision, but I am also worried things may get awkward for me at the office if I introduce them and things don’t work out between them. What should I do? She expects me to make the introduction but I have been putting it off and it is starting to make her feel as if I am deliberately keeping him away from her.
The first thing you should do is tell your friend about why you have been hesitating, because she deserves to know that you have her best interests at heart. You should then introduce them and let them take it from there, because they are two adults who are perfectly capable of making decisions about whether they are suited for each other or not. If things don’t work out, the onus is not on you to make sure there is no awkwardness, because you have nothing to do with their dating lives. If there is awkwardness, you can confront it and speak to your colleague if and when that happens. You are making a lot of decisions based on conjecture, when the simplest thing to do is let them sort this out on their own terms.
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How do I tell my boyfriend that I would like to slow things down and not move towards a more serious relationship without hurting his feelings?
If you can’t be honest about your expectations, this relationship isn’t going to evolve for either of you. Tell him how you feel and take as much time as you need.
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