It may also be a smart thing to do because your friend will have a much clearer idea about how this brother feels
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently found out that my boyfriend has been lying to me about all kinds of things for no apparent reason. I confronted him about this, and he laughed it off, saying he has a habit of telling white lies. I told him it wasn’t a nice thing to do, and he promised to stop, but I caught him out a few times again. I am worried because if he takes such a casual approach to lying about small things, how will I know if he is not being honest about bigger things that can affect our relationship? I have been reconsidering everything that has happened between us since we began dating a year ago and am just struggling with what feels like a breakdown in trust. He still doesn’t think it’s serious enough for me to get concerned about. I think we have no future together because of this. What should I do?
You’re right to be concerned because even if the lies are harmless, an erosion of trust for any reason whatsoever is always cause for concern. Your boyfriend’s inability or refusal to take this seriously doesn’t bode well because you are highlighting an issue that is being brushed aside. Tell him that this isn’t about the lies as much as it is about trust. If he wants to make this relationship work, he will do what it takes to fix it. If he doesn’t, you can decide the future based on the knowledge that he isn’t willing to do what it takes.
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This is awkward but I am beginning to have feelings for my best friend’s brother and don’t know if I should tell him how I feel. Should I speak to my friend first?
Friendships are about openness and communication, and telling your friend how you feel shouldn’t be a problem at all if you are both respectful of each other. It may also be a smart thing to do because your friend will have a much clearer idea about how this brother feels.
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