What should I do? Should I stop telling him things even if I know this will harm our relationship?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been dating a guy who asks me a lot of questions about myself but doesn’t say much about his own life. I suspect he doesn’t like sharing personal information, which is fine, but I worry because I also think he shares everything I tell him with his friends. When we meet, they sometimes say things about me that only my boyfriend is supposed to know, and I don’t get it. I asked him about this a few times and he always denies it but has never been able to explain how his friends know more about me than they are supposed to. What should I do? Should I stop telling him things even if I know this will harm our relationship?
It sounds as if there has been some damage already, because sharing personal information to anyone without your permission is a sign of disrespect. If he denies this, but can’t give you an explanation that is satisfactory, it’s possible that he’s not being entirely honest with you, which isn’t okay. Call him out on this because it upsets you and tell him why this is hurting you and damaging you both. As for him not being open about his own personal life, you’re right about it being his prerogative, but it’s also up to you to define your own boundaries.
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How should I deal with my boyfriend who always asks me for money? He earns as much as I do, but always spends more than he saves, which is frustrating but something I have become accustomed to. He warned me about this when we first began dating, and it was fine because I do love him, but it’s starting to become a serious concern because it affects my finances.
This can tear your relationship apart if it isn’t handled with tact and maturity. Tell him that getting money involved can lead to serious disagreements and, if he can’t manage his own funds, there is a limit to how much you can help.
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