She won’t understand it until you are honest enough to tell her that you need time. Nothing about a healthy relationship can be rushed
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A year or so ago, I met a guy at a party who flirted with me and then stopped chatting completely. We had a great time and I thought we had a genuine connection, so I gave him my contact details and he promised to reach out. The fact that he completely ghosted me was a surprise because I really thought there was some spark there. A few days ago, he suddenly messaged me on Facebook and began chatting. There wasn’t a single word about why he didn’t reach out for almost a year, with no apology or explanation, and he just asked me out. He said there was something between us and he wanted to know if I felt the same way. I feel like going out just to find out more about what happened, but I am also wary because if he doesn’t even acknowledge that something weird took place, he may not be the right kind of person for me to get into a relationship with. What should I do?
You can always meet once if you want to give him the benefit of doubt and not have to think about what might have been, but his inability or refusal to accept that he owes you an explanation is worrying because there is a sense that he is taking you for granted. It isn’t an ideal way to begin any relationship, so you should definitely keep that in mind too before making your decision. You have nothing to lose either by meeting him or choosing to stay away.
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My girlfriend wants me to have a conversation with her about my feelings even though I find it hard to open up. We have only been together for three months. I don’t want to ruin this, but I can’t just be honest until I am more comfortable. How does she not understand this?
She won’t understand it until you are honest enough to tell her that you need time. Nothing about a healthy relationship can be rushed.
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