Will she change after marriage?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 30-year old guy and am engaged to be married in six months. My fiancé and I met through a matrimonial site and though we get along quite well, we have only gone out on three or four dates since then. Our parents are happy with this arrangement, and we are both interested in getting married because we want to settle down. My question is whether this period of knowing each other is enough before making such a commitment. I know this is what I want, but a part of me is also a little nervous because I have heard so many stories of people changing after marriage. If my fiancé is not what she seems, I may find out only after the wedding, and this may ruin the rest of my life. She doesn't come across as that kind of person, and maybe I am overthinking this, but I still don't know if I should ask for more time. What do I do?
The doubts and trepidation you feel ignores what she is going through. She doesn't know you as well either, and is as committed to this life-changing decision as you are. You're right about people changing, but that can happen with or without a wedding because we change all the time. Some of us evolve in positive ways, others become more regressive. Either way, the idea of a partnership for life is to navigate these changes and arrive at a better understanding of who we are, and who our partners are. If you want time, ask for it. If you want to get to know her better, meet more often, because it will help her get to know you better too. Like any important decision, it is only when we are armed with information that we can do better. When the two of you know what you are committing to, the future will be less frightening than it is now. Tell her how you feel, be honest about your fears, and face them.

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