He is turning into an alcoholic!

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 29-year-old woman and have been in a relationship with a 32-year old guy who has been steadily sinking into alcoholism for a few years. It wasn't a huge problem when we began dating around two years ago, but he then lost his job, and things took a turn for the worse. He doesn't want to admit that he has a problem, and I tiptoe around the topic because he doesn't take kindly to any comment about it. I love him a lot and want to see him get better, but this will never happen until he confronts the issue and starts to accept that this is out of control. My friends think I should end this because there is no hope, but I believe he is someone I can spend the rest of my life with if he can get his act together. He's an amazing person who has just lost his way. What can I do?
You're right about him not being able to fix this until he admits to the problem. If this is someone you want to be with, and you don't have the tools to cope with his behaviour, try and involve people in his life who he may listen to. Alcoholism is a disease that can be treated but is often impossible to manage without help from a professional. Speak to him about your feelings, how you see this relationship, and what you hope for the future. He has to start recognising you as a partner, not an enemy, and figure out what his priorities are before he accepts help from someone. Also, be realistic about your future if he doesn't reach out and gets help because there will come a point where your love is overshadowed by the toll this will take on your mental well-being. This isn't to say you should abandon someone you love, just that you should understand and be prepared to accept that this may be a difficult journey to sobriety and good health.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com