What exactly am I doing wrong?

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 25-year old guy and have been sick and tired of dating for a while now. I use dating apps to meet people and have gone out with around 20 women over the past year-and-a-half. Not one of those dates has transformed into a meaningful relationship. I don't know if I am the problem because my friends all deal with the same thing. It's as if no one wants a serious relationship. They just want to go out, eat dinner, have fun, and forget about anything meaningful. I can also see why so many of my friends don't feel like getting into any relationship because they don't think it's worth the effort. I know I am still very young, but I am already considering just staying single for the foreseeable future. How do I know if there is something I am doing wrong? Should I change my approach or not say anything about what I am looking for when I go out with someone?
You're young, as you point out, and dating apps haven't exactly worked the way the tech companies that built them promised they would. It's not you or your friends as much as it is the way society constantly changes its view of what a stable relationship means in uncertain times. It's possible that you aren't being as judicious about whom you go out with, but that will always be speculative because you can't go wrong 20 times. Why not forget about a relationship for now, or put it aside, and concentrate on enjoying your twenties instead? Always assume that you will meet someone who wants something meaningful, because that need for something genuine will never go away, no matter what. There will always be people looking for stability, and it's possible that dating apps will someday give way to people meeting each other the way they used to, in the real world. Stop putting pressure on yourself to find someone or something, and let this process take its time.

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