If this is someone you love and want to be with, nothing should stop you from broaching the topic yourself. It shouldn’t cause friction if your relationship is solid
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 27-year old woman and have been dating for four years. None of those dates has turned into anything meaningful. I meet a lot of people, we seem to bond, and then it just fizzles out. I don’t know what the problem is because I can never find a reason for their disappearance no matter how hard I try to analyse this. I have tried taking things slowly, being more of an extrovert, agreeing to everything being said, and avoiding arguments, but none of this has worked. I know there isn’t anything wrong with me because I wouldn’t have close friends if I was difficult, so this is just hard for me to understand at any level. If I don’t know how something is going wrong, how do I fix it?
Changing who you are to please anyone isn’t going to work, nor is it doing you any favours because you’re being unfair to yourself. Dating is difficult and takes a while to manage because these are individuals with personalities, likes, and dislikes, all of which need to be managed. Being yourself is always the smart thing to do because, that way, you know you’re with someone who wants to be with you for who you are. This can take time, but it isn’t impossible. If you don’t think you’re doing anything wrong, don’t blame yourself for dates not evolving into relationships. Try concentrating on building strong friendships with new people instead, and let those friendships turn into something else of their own accord. Also speak to you friends about this and consider their points of view because it’s possible that you simply aren’t meeting the kind of people you are compatible with.
How do I know if my boyfriend is hinting at marriage? I don’t want to misunderstand his signals and cause friction between us.
If this is someone you love and want to be with, nothing should stop you from broaching the topic yourself. It shouldn’t cause friction if your relationship is solid.
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