Lastly, instead of breaking up, consider taking some time out instead
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been dealing with an on-again off-again situation with a guy for almost a year now. We get together, have a great time for a while, then break up the minute we have an argument. This has happened four or five times and we are both trying to figure out what to do. There is definitely chemistry between us, and we know we like each other a lot, but we are also aware that we are strong individuals with opinions about what is or isn’t okay in a relationship. I sometimes think we are perfect for each other, and he feels the same way, which is why it’s frustrating not to be able to act upon this feeling. How can we find some stability?
It’s one thing to be aware of how you both feel, and another to put in the work required towards pulling it off. Try listing what you like and dislike a.bout each other and compare notes. Look for the positives and why you get back together and talk about what you would both like the other to do. This is about negotiation and coming to terms with who you both are. It’s okay to have strong opinions and fixed ideas about things, but it’s also okay to focus on what you have in common and recognise that being together is more important than anything else that can potentially get in the way. Lastly, instead of breaking up, consider taking some time out instead.
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My partner and I have been fighting more than we usually do. Is this a sign that we are heading towards the end of our relationship?
It is a sign that one or both of you isn’t listening to what the other is saying. Fights are normal and healthy, up to a point, because they help you understand the other better. If it gets to a place where the fight isn’t leading to change for the better, this is a problem. Acknowledge it and work on addressing the underlying issue.
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