You should talk to him because that’s what people in relationships do. Also, it’s perfectly okay to not want to commit
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 34-year old guy and have been single for a year. I am not dating anyone because I am not exactly in the mood. A few days ago, an ex-girlfriend from almost a decade ago emailed to say that she was sorry about everything that happened between us. She said she had behaved badly, had made a mistake about me, and wanted to be friends again. This was a huge surprise because the end of that relationship was hard and took me many years to get over. I haven’t responded because I don’t know what to say, but I haven’t been able to get her out of my mind since I read her message. I don’t know if she has changed and wants to rekindle what we had, but I am beginning to wonder if I should meet her and see what happens. Is this a bad idea?
What makes you believe this is an attempt at rekindling a relationship that ended almost a decade ago? She has said nothing specific, so why assume that is her intention? If you want to know what this message means, you can suggest a meeting, but don’t pre-empt anything when you don’t know who this person is anymore. People evolve, and ten years is a long time. Why not take this one step at a time before making any decisions about future relationships?
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This isn’t a problem as much as it is a minor concern. I think I love my boyfriend a lot, but I also believe it isn’t enough to make me want to spend my life with him. This wouldn’t have bothered me if we were in a new relationship, but it has been almost four years, and I am starting to worry that I am the only one who feels this way. It feels as if he is secure and comfortable. What do I do?
You should talk to him because that’s what people in relationships do. Also, it’s perfectly okay to not want to commit.
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