They are entitled to doing that, but you are also entitled to speak up if you feel under-appreciated and want things to get better
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been thinking of a colleague a lot, and don’t know what to make of these thoughts. I don’t think I have any romantic feelings towards her, but I am also very intrigued and would like to get to know her better. Is there any risk I should be aware of? I know office romances or liaisons are frowned upon, and will always make sure I don’t create any situation that will lead to unprofessional behaviour or awkwardness, but I am also trying to see if I can be friends with this person outside work and find out if it can lead to something deeper in the future. Is this a good idea?
As adults, we are always responsible not just for our feelings, but for how we interact with others in any situation. Avoiding complications at work is always recommended for reasons you are already aware of, but there is nothing wrong with wanting to make a new friend. You may be overthinking this if all you want to do is get to know her better. You can also make this easier on yourself as well as her, by coming clean when you speak with her, and asking if she would consider a conversation with you outside work. Until that happens, everything else is speculative.
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My family is not very close, and it often saddens me that I am the only one constantly making efforts to make our relationship work. I organise get-togethers, celebrate everyone’s birthday, and it feels like everything may stop if I don’t initiate anything. How do I get them to contribute in a more meaningful way?
You can sit them down and tell them how you feel, instead of waiting and hoping that they will arrive at this realization on their own. Families are made up of individuals who don’t always see the importance of this cohesive unit. They are entitled to doing that, but you are also entitled to speak up if you feel under-appreciated and want things to get better.
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