Should I give up something solid for the unknown based on my infatuation?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been in a relationship with a girl for four years, and we love each other a lot, but things have changed lately. We don’t seem to be as close as we used to, and there is a sameness to our relationship that makes it feel as if we’re together only because we’re comfortable with each other. A few weeks ago, I realised that I had feelings for a colleague at work, because there was some chemistry between us that has been missing from life with my girlfriend for a long time. It felt like a sign that this relationship has finally run its course, but I don’t know if I should trust the feeling. Should I give up something solid for the unknown based on my infatuation?
All relationships start to feel the same after a while, which is why both partners need to be aware of this and address it. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with each other because that is a state a significant number of couples aspire to. It’s a great sign if you learn to look at it positively, and that can only come when you examine the pros and cons of your relationship with honesty. It’s also important to discuss this with your girlfriend and ask her how she feels about it. Being infatuated with someone else will always feel like a new experience, but it makes more sense to evaluate what you have and think about what it means to lose it before you make any decision involving another person.
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My friends think my boyfriend walks all over me because I am easy to please. Should I be more assertive?
You should be who you are comfortable with, and gauge your relationship based on how you feel about it. Your friends are entitled to an opinion, and may be right, but you alone can be honest with yourself about the nature of your relationship with your boyfriend.
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