If you are prepared for rejection, and willing to accept that she may simply not want to be with you irrespective of whether she is in a serious relationship, ask her out for coffee and keep your fingers crossed
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My girlfriend and I have decided to end our relationship because she says we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things. I have agreed to do this only because I love her, even though I think she is being unfair and not trying to see things from my perspective. We have been together for four years. We have both changed in different ways. I think it’s normal and natural for people in any relationship to have different views after being together for a while because we constantly evolve, but she thinks we have to get along on everything, which makes no sense. It’s obvious that we have very serious differences, but it doesn’t change the fact that I love her and want to be with her. How do I get her to look at the big picture and accept that people who don’t share the same views can live happily together too?
Both of you see your future differently. Where you see the possibility of living in harmony despite opposing points of view, she possibly sees unnecessary friction that cannot be resolved. You’re right about people evolving, and there are probably millions of people who get along and are happy by agreeing to disagree. This can’t be used as an argument to dismiss how she’s feeling though, because she has probably considered all avenues before deciding to let go of a relationship of four years. All you can do is present your side and hope that she is willing to work towards it. If she doesn’t believe the effort is worth it, there is no chance of this working.
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I want to ask someone out but am afraid to because she is already dating. I don’t know if they are serious though. What do I do?
If you are prepared for rejection, and willing to accept that she may simply not want to be with you irrespective of whether she is in a serious relationship, ask her out for coffee and keep your fingers crossed.
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