It’s okay to feel hurt and betrayed because you have been through something painful. Try giving yourself time to heal before thinking about love again
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My girlfriend says I am always too demanding, which is confusing because I only ask her to do things that have an impact on my mental health or the well-being of our relationship. I never ask her to change anything about herself, but she says I am trying to change her personality if I suggest anything. I recently asked her to spend a little less time partying on weekends because I can’t go to an expensive restaurant four times a month, and she said I was trying to take control of her life. I don’t think my requests are unreasonable, which is why I don’t know if this relationship has a future. If she can’t accept criticism or comments about anything, how will we have any meaningful dialogue?
This is about communication and the ability to put forth your individual points of view while learning to navigate potential conflict. It’s impossible for anyone to comment on who is right or wrong, because you are both adults and the only ones capable of making that distinction. If you can’t get through and she can’t accept your comments, there is obviously a problem. Ask her for suggestions on how you can talk about things that don’t trigger her, discuss what is and isn’t negotiable, and then decide if you are both willing to make those compromises based on how badly you want this relationship. If it seems like too much work, one or both of you can decide if it isn’t worth the effort. Either way, healthy dialogue can take place only when you are both willing to address any underlying issues.
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What will restore my faith in love after the end of a relationship? It has been eight months, and I don’t feel like I can face the idea of dating again. It feels as if everyone is lying just to be with someone.
It’s okay to feel hurt and betrayed because you have been through something painful. Try giving yourself time to heal before thinking about love again.
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