Start by asking yourselves why you both decided to give this relationship another chance
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My wife and I have been married for almost three years and she cannot handle any arguments or disagreements. I try and avoid fights because I know how she reacts, but it is starting to become hopeless because I am left to swallow my anger to avoid confrontation. When we fight, she clams up and refuses to budge. If I apologise, she doesn’t acknowledge it. It then takes her weeks to settle down until things get back to normal. During those periods, it feels as if I don’t exist. She ignores me, doesn’t greet me, eats her meals alone, and just pretends as if I am not in the room. It is bewildering, hurtful behaviour and she never apologies for it even once. Things are so bad that I am considering a divorce because I cannot be with someone like this. What should I do?
What your wife is doing, irrespective of how she wants to categorise it, is a form of emotional abuse. It isn’t what adults do, and a refusal to engage with or meet you halfway is a red flag because it will prevent you both from having a meaningful relationship that evolves. Try telling her this when things are civil between you and suggest the possibility of her looking into some form of anger management. If she refuses to acknowledge that there is a problem, it doesn’t seem as if there is any hope for your future. She needs to understand the gravity of this situation, so tell her how you feel even if you are afraid of an argument. No relationship can be built on fear.
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This is our second attempt at trying to be together, and we keep having the same issues that made us break up the first time. Does this mean it’s no use?
It probably means you aren’t listening to each other and haven’t figured out what the underlying issues really are. Start by asking yourselves why you both decided to give this relationship another chance.
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