Scared that I have feelings for him...

It hurts to want to love him but to also have to push him away. What can I do and what should I do

I’m a girl in my early 20s and have been in a couple of relationships but a majority have ended horribly. Over a year or so ago, I came across a boy and, over time, my feelings for him grew. At the same time, the thought of pain and suffering this might cause me or the fact that my parents won’t agree to our union keeps haunting me. I don’t even know how he feels about me. It hurts to want to love him but to also have to push him away. What can I do and what should I do?
There’s nothing you can do until you try and isolate the reasons for why you feel the way you do. On the one hand, you pre-empt pain and suffering based on previous relationships, which is unfair given that you don’t know this person or how he will behave. You haven’t thought about why a majority of your relationships have ended horribly or if they have any bearing on you or the people you were with. As for your parents, is there any reasonable explanation for why they would have a problem with you being in a relationship with this person? Again, isn’t that presumptuous given that you admit not knowing how he feels about you? Why not start by getting to know this person, spending time with him to see how you both feel about each other, and then crossing those respective bridges—about the cost of this relationship, or how your parents will react—when the possibility of a future together appears? Why accept or reject something without trying to see if something exists in the first place?

I can’t tell if a guy I spend a lot of time with is genuinely interested in me or just playing with my feelings. How will I know?
If he isn’t being genuine, you will figure it out by spending more time until his mask slips. Also, if you are still unsure, that’s a sign, too.

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