Is there anything we can do ourselves to change this?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My partner and I are in love and have been together for three years, but our physical intimacy has pretty much vanished. We don’t make love often and both seem to be okay with this, which worries me because I don’t want to be with someone who is more like a roommate as time passes. I think we both know that we are committed to this, and want to spend our lives together, which may be why we also take this for granted. I know that if we don’t fix it, things may only push us further apart. I spoke to her about this, and she agrees, but neither of us is comfortable with the idea of speaking to a counsellor. Is there anything we can do ourselves to change this?
Wanting to fix something while refusing to do what it takes doesn’t seem like a great idea. You can always work on this yourselves, and try things like going on a holiday, or speaking about what you both enjoy physically. Give yourselves an ultimatum though, because there may come a point where bringing in a professional may be unavoidable. Talk about why neither of us you are okay with speaking to a counsellor, what you think the problem is, and how each of you intends to change things if you don’t want a third party involved. This isn’t an insurmountable problem, but it also isn’t one that will change without you both putting in some work.
ADVERTISEMENT
How do I tell a guy I am dating that I am getting divorced, without frightening him away? He thinks I am single.
Being honest is your only option, irrespective of how he reacts, because you owe it to him as well as yourself. You cannot hope for a healthy relationship by withholding critical information that affects him in any way. Explain the situation, be direct about your expectations, and be prepared to give him time.
The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com
Subscribe today by clicking the link and stay updated with the latest news!" Click here!
