I am always worried whenever people come over because I don’t know what she may say. Please help
Illustration/Uday Mohite
This is an awkward thing to talk about, but I sometimes feel as if my wife doesn’t understand boundaries when it comes to interacting with my male friends. She is very friendly towards them and says a lot of things that make me uncomfortable. They don’t have a problem with this because they think she is friendly and very cool, but I don’t know if they think the same way I do. I don’t know how to ask them if this is appropriate behaviour or not because I don’t want them to assume there are problems in our marriage. What do I do? I can’t have this conversation with my wife because I don’t know how to bring it up without upsetting her. If she decides not to speak to my friends again, that will also be an issue. I am always worried whenever people come over because I don’t know what she may say. Please help.
It is strange that you can’t seem to have a conversation about how you feel, or about a topic that you consider to be difficult, with either your wife or your friends. This isn’t a sign of a healthy relationship, or of healthy friendships, because you should be able to talk about things that are on your mind. The point of a close relationship is that you can express your wants and expectations and find someone who shares those points of view. It is a reciprocal exchange that evolves over time. If your wife’s behaviour bothers you, the sooner you address this, the better. And if you can’t discuss this with your friends, try evaluating why that is. This isn’t an insurmountable problem.
My boyfriend lost his brother a few months ago and has not been the same since. He is antagonistic towards me, and I don’t know what to do.
Grief can do strange things to people, but you need to tell him that while you can be patient until he resolves this, he is also being unfair to you.
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