What should I do? He wants me to ignore everything because he says he was drunk, but is that a good reason for me to just forget about it?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Two weeks ago, my boyfriend got drunk and told me that he had been lying to women he met by telling them he was single. I asked him why he did that, and he said it was because he was ashamed of saying he was with me. When he was sober, I asked him about this again and he denied everything. I have been very hurt about what he said, and don’t know what to believe. If he was just saying that to make me upset, why would he do it? And if it’s true, I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t like being with me. What should I do? He wants me to ignore everything because he says he was drunk, but is that a good reason for me to just forget about it?
You should go by his actions rather than anything said under the influence of alcohol, because that is a better barometer. If he says he didn’t mean it, but said it anyway, there is probably some underlying issue he isn’t willing to address or acknowledge. Gauge how he treats you with other people, including his friends and family. If you feel disrespected or feel that he isn’t comfortable telling anyone that he is with you, this isn’t someone you should be with. Either way, it’s a problem that needs to be resolved to your satisfaction before you can trust him, if your relationship is to get stronger.
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My girlfriend recently spoke to her ex-boyfriend, who wants her to dump me and get back with him. She laughed it off, but I am worried because I know she loved him a lot. What can I do to make sure she doesn’t end this and go back?
She has chosen to be with you for a reason, and presuming she wants to end it and go back does her a disservice. You should focus on your own bond with her, and how the two of you interact, instead of worrying about her past.
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