Why pre-empt something when you can simply ask? If you don’t want to ask, you can always go on the trip to find out or turn it down
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My husband and I decided to try a trial separation after three years of marriage because we were going through a difficult time. It has been four months and I have never been happier. It has felt like a weight off my shoulders, and I believe this is the best situation for me because I need to be away from him. The separation has convinced me that our marriage isn’t working but, when I spoke to him a few days ago, he said the opposite was true for him and that it made him realise he can’t live without me. I am confused because I know I am expected to try and make this marriage work, but I can’t do it without sacrificing my happiness. His family and mine will call me selfish if I end it, and I will end up being the bad person. I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Your families may want you to be together, along with your husband, but none of their intentions should have an impact on how you feel. You are the one who has to live with this person, which also means you are the only one qualified to make a decision about your future. If you feel as if this marriage can only survive at the cost of your happiness, it is a heavy price to pay, and shouldn’t be done without weighing the impact on your future. It’s your life, and you alone have the power to shape your future and do what is in your best interests. Think about why this separation occurred, and what you want for yourself, before making any decision.
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A casual friend recently invited me on a holiday, and I haven’t accepted because I don’t know what her intentions are. Is she sending me some kind of message?
Why pre-empt something when you can simply ask? If you don’t want to ask, you can always go on the trip to find out or turn it down.
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