You should accept that grief makes us all behave in ways that don’t always make sense. If this is what helps for now, it will go away at some point. Give yourself time
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have had a crush on a co-worker for months, but I haven’t approached her and have never said anything to her directly. I asked some of her colleagues about her and they must have told her this because she has begun to avoid me. We used to be friendly earlier, and always smile at each other, but she no longer does that. I don’t know if I should just ask her out and tell her how I feel, given that I have nothing to lose. At the same time, her refusal to acknowledge me feels like a statement that she is not interested, which means this will just be awkward and possibly hurtful for me. Should I give up and assume this will not go forward in any way? I just feel as if I have waited for too long without doing anything.
You’re right that it is a statement of sorts, assuming it’s because your colleagues have told her about your conversations. As for speaking to her directly, that should still be an option despite any potential awkwardness, because it prevents you both from jumping to conclusions about each other or about your individual intentions. If she says she isn’t interested, nothing changes your current situation. But, if she agrees to meet you for coffee and have a chat, at least you have an opportunity to explain yourself. You should consider just going ahead and asking.
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Is it okay to stalk an ex-girlfriend online even though there is no chance of us getting back together? I miss her a lot, and looking at her pictures only makes it worse because she seems like she’s having fun while I’m miserable. It’s all I have left though, so I don’t want to stop even though I know it’s not healthy. What should I do?
You should accept that grief makes us all behave in ways that don’t always make sense. If this is what helps for now, it will go away at some point. Give yourself time.
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