Long-distance relationships don’t work only when people in it cannot or refuse to come to terms with topics they consider difficult
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 27-year-old woman and have been on five dates with a guy who is nice, but not interesting enough for me to get into a relationship with. We met using a dating app, and I think he is completely into me. I just don’t feel the same way but can’t find a way to tell him. Whenever he asks me out, I accept out of a sense of guilt because of how happy it makes him. If I say I don’t want to see him anymore, he will be hurt, but he may also get angry and accuse me of leading him on. I just want to get out of this without any unpleasantness. How can I end it gently, without causing any drama?
Drama can sometimes be hard to avoid but, the longer you wait, the harder you make things for yourself as well as this person. If you aren’t interested, he deserves to know. If you don’t want to meet him, the onus of being clear about that is on you. Being direct can help avoid any misinterpretation. You should also avoid assuming how he may or may not react because, for all you know, he may appreciate honesty like anyone else would. Meet him one more time, tell him how you feel, apologise for any misunderstanding, and move on. With time, he will get over it too. It’s what adults do.
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My girlfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship for a year-and-a-half, and never seem to be able to talk about physical intimacy. It’s important, but she pretends as if it’s not an issue at all. Is this a sign that our relationship is not as solid as we like to think it is?
If this is important to you, nothing stops you from discussing it. If she isn’t comfortable, you can ask for an explanation. Long-distance relationships don’t work only when people in it cannot or refuse to come to terms with topics they consider difficult.
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