If this is her best friend, won’t she mention this to your girlfriend anyway? If you are ashamed, own up to it and apologise. Why assume she will break up with you if you can explain your actions? Tell her the truth
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a recently divorced 43-year old woman and have been dating a colleague from work for a few months. He wants me to move in with him soon but I have been resisting the idea because I don’t think I am ready for that kind of relationship yet. He says the sooner I do it, the easier it will be for us to adjust and make plans for our future. He is almost 50, so I understand why he wants us to move a little faster. I accept his logic, but can’t seem to find the strength to actually make the move. Am I wrong in thinking this way? I know I will not get any younger, but I still want to see what life is like as a single person for a while before making another long-term commitment. What if I don’t find someone else?
You haven’t said anything about your feelings for this person, which is all that matters. If you like him, but not enough to commit to a long-term relationship, that is a sign you shouldn’t ignore. You’re not old, and age doesn’t define whether you can or cannot find someone you genuinely want to be with. If you need time, you should take as much as you need. If he is serious about you, he shouldn’t have a problem waiting even if he is older. If he is simply looking for a companion and finds someone else, you will know what you have meant to him. Either way, you shouldn’t rush into anything unless you’re prepared.
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How can I tell my girlfriend that I flirted with her best friend at a party without her breaking up with me? I don’t know why I did it and I am just ashamed.
If this is her best friend, won’t she mention this to your girlfriend anyway? If you are ashamed, own up to it and apologise. Why assume she will break up with you if you can explain your actions? Tell her the truth.
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