Someone threatening to abandon you because they are incapable of a healthy argument is worth losing. Ask him to go ahead, so you can find someone more mature.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently met someone who used to be a big bully in school. He was horrible to me and my friends, and I was glad when school ended because I hoped never to see him again. We didn’t see each other for years because he went to another college, and I was surprised to meet him a few weeks ago at a party. He remembered me and we chatted, and he spoke of how he was a horrible person in school. To my surprise, I ended up liking our conversation and we exchanged numbers. We have been chatting since then, and I am beginning to feel as if this is a completely different person from the child I knew growing up. He is mature and interesting, and just asked me out to dinner. What should I do? I don’t know if someone like that can change their qualities and become better, but I am also curious to know him a little. Is this a bad idea?
Everyone evolves, because to not do that is to stagnate. It’s completely possible that your bully has grown up to be a kind human being because our past doesn’t always define us, nor does it imply that we have no capacity to change for the better. If you want to get to know him, there is nothing wrong with dinner. If you don’t like him, you are under no obligation to meet him or chat with him again. Why put unnecessary pressure on yourself when this is just an invitation to a meal? If you aren’t interested in getting to know him, reject his invitation. If not, go and meet someone you don’t really know as an adult. Either way, the choice is always yours.
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My boyfriend has threatened to date someone else because he says we fight a lot. What should I do?
Someone threatening to abandon you because they are incapable of a healthy argument is worth losing. Ask him to go ahead, so you can find someone more mature.
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