Do what you think works best for you, and act upon something only when you believe it for yourself
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend always says that my friends are taking advantage of me. He has never liked them, which is okay because I recognise that they are very different people from who he is. What bothers me is his conviction that they don’t have my best interests at heart. He has been in my life for a year now, but my friends have been with me since I was in school. I don’t know if I should believe him, but he makes very strong arguments that I find hard to dismiss. I haven’t said anything to my friends about this because I know they don’t trust him, and this will only distance them from him more. I wish they would all get along, but I have long given up on that and just want to be able to have healthy, separate relationships with them as well as him. Should I just tell him that my friendships are off-limits?
You can keep your relationships separate if this bothers you more than it should. What ultimately matters, irrespective of who is saying what about whom, is how you feel about people based on how well you know them. It’s okay for you to doubt someone, even if it is a friend, but it’s also nice to always give someone the benefit of doubt unless you have strong reasons to question their love for you. If your boyfriend and friends can’t get along, it’s okay to draw boundaries and keep them separate. Do what you think works best for you, and act upon something only when you believe it for yourself.
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I had a fling with someone over a short holiday and we have kept in touch since then. I have been wondering about whether this can turn into a real relationship, but I get the feeling he doesn’t feel the same way. How do I convince him?
Be direct and ask him if this is a possibility. If he isn’t interested, why force it?
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