He may be getting over his ex but acknowledging and resolving your anxiety is critical. If he doesn’t get that, this relationship may not work out
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently matched with a guy on a dating app, and we have been chatting for a couple of weeks. We haven’t been able to meet on a date because we have been busy, but I keep getting mixed signals. On some days, he is very receptive and eager to chat. On other days, he brushes me off and says he is busy at work. I have suggested meeting at a few places and none of them have been accepted by him. He says they are not cool enough or interesting enough. When I ask him to suggest a place, he says he will think about it and get back. I like chatting with him because we have a lot in common, but I am put off by his dismissive attitude and refusal to commit to something concrete. Are these red flags?
It could just be poor communication skills, although anyone being dismissive towards someone else is a red flag. Being courteous doesn’t cost anything, and manners say a lot about how a person is raised. If you are still interested in this person, you can persevere until you meet because, sometimes, one’s online behaviour doesn’t reflect who they are in real life. It’s up to you though because, after a point, you know this is someone who isn’t being respectful.
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There is something going on with my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend that I can’t understand. They broke up around six months ago and we began dating soon after, but he can’t seem to stop talking about her. I have told him I am not comfortable with it, but he can’t help himself. Does this mean I am just some rebound relationship? I don’t want to be someone he is dating just to forget about his ex.
Your relationship is new, and expressing yourself is the first step towards setting expectations and drawing boundaries. He may be getting over his ex but acknowledging and resolving your anxiety is critical. If he doesn’t get that, this relationship may not work out.
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