Sex is personal and depends entirely upon individual expectations and how they match. It may not be the same for both of you but that’s where communication and a compromise can help
Illustration/Uday Mohite
A friend of mine has begun spending more time with me than I am okay with. She and I were not very close until a tragedy in her family made her open up to me. I was sympathetic and listened to what she had to say. Since then, she thinks of me as one of her closest friends even though I don’t think of her the same way. This has caused her to lean on me a lot, and she constantly texts or calls, and spends weekends with me. I was okay with this at first because I thought it would help her and was glad I could support her in some way. Over the past month or two, however, it has started to affect other areas of my life because she doesn’t give me space. I have mentioned this to her a few times, and she apologises, but soon gets back into the routine of contacting me all day. How do I stop this without hurting her?
You are both adults and are both entitled to your space and personal boundaries because that is a normal expectation for anyone. Your friend may be grieving, and you have done what a good friend does, but she has no claims over you or your time. If she doesn’t get the message and disregards your requests, put your foot down and disengage firmly. Your guilt shouldn’t stand in the way of someone taking you for granted. If she wants you as a friend, respect is critical, so tell her that what she is doing doesn’t respect the lines you are drawing. A successful friendship, like any relationship, depends upon two people working together.
Is it normal to have sex just once a week while living with one’s partner? Or should we be trying to do this more often?
Sex is personal and depends entirely upon individual expectations and how they match. It may not be the same for both of you but that’s where communication and a compromise can help.
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