Remind him that you may be in a relationship, but your time is still your own. Drawing boundaries can avoid a lot of misunderstanding
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I recently received a message from my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, asking me to delete all pictures of him on my Facebook account. I had a few put up because we were together for two years, and because a lot of photographs of my other friends are also up. I didn’t respond to the message because I thought it was rude, and none of her business, but she messaged again to say that she is now engaged to my ex and doesn’t want anyone in her family to know that he was once with me. What should I do?
It’s entirely your prerogative. It’s your Facebook page, your personal space, and yours to use as you see fit. If she wants to erase her fiancé’s past, she can try, but to erase your past with his is irrational and disrespectful. You can choose to remove his name from those photographs if you are so inclined, but this really sounds like her problem rather than yours. Do what you feel comfortable with and ignore the request if you don’t feel like complying. Either way, this is a non-issue.
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My boyfriend asks me to meet people more than I am comfortable with. He invites me to family get-togethers, birthdays of his friends and acquaintances, and other events that are important to him but a waste of my time. Am I being foolish to think that his demands are unreasonable? He says it’s what all normal relationships are like, but it feels as if my time isn’t being valued. How do we resolve this without it turning into an argument?
Dialogue and compromise are how all relationships sort out these issues, because that is how you set expectations and make sure you are both evolving. Neither of you may be wrong, but that also means you are both entitled to come up with a set of wants and priorities. Remind him that you may be in a relationship, but your time is still your own. Drawing boundaries can avoid a lot of misunderstanding.
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