If it gets in the way of you connecting with someone, maybe it’s something you should consider working on
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I no longer trust my husband and don’t know how to resolve this. We have been married for two years and I have always had doubts about some of his shady friends, but I am increasingly convinced that there is something illegal about what he does for a living. Ours was an arranged marriage so my parents chose him for me. I met him a few times and he was not very open about his professional life, but I ignored it because he seemed financially stable. I think being with him is a problem because whatever he does may lead to consequences for him and I don’t want to be caught in the bargain. What should I do? I can’t speak about this to my parents because they still think they made the right decision by getting me to marry him.
If you’re worried, and have no one you can trust, it is important to speak to a professional. Consider contacting a lawyer to find out what your options are and speak to law enforcement if you feel threatened in any way. The breakdown of trust in any relationship is an obvious problem because, if it cannot be repaired, there is no future for either of you. Have you considered asking your husband a direct question about the things you suspect? Maybe he hasn’t said anything because he isn’t comfortable opening up to you. Also, think about how you feel about your husband, in terms of whether or not you see a future worth working towards. If you have no positive feelings on that front, the sooner you get advice on how to put this behind you, the better.
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My friends say I am too finicky with the people I date. Is this a problem? I don’t want to change who I am just to make other people happy.
That depends on whether your behaviour affects the people you’re with. If it gets in the way of you connecting with someone, maybe it’s something you should consider working on.
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