If he has specifically asked for time, why not agree? If he isn’t interested, why not wait until he says that
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My boyfriend and I want to get married, but I also want to study further. He says we can marry, and I can then continue my studies, but I am not sure about this. Marriage comes with all kinds of commitments, and I am not sure I can balance both. I love him a lot and can understand that he wants to be with me, but my personal growth is also important to me. He is very supportive, and I know he won’t get in the way of my professional life, but I also want to be fully committed to both things and give them the attention they deserve. What do I do? He is impatient and I don’t want to hurt him by insisting that he wait because we have been together for five years now.
If you need time, you should take it. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and stepping into it when your heart isn’t in it yet isn’t going to be good for either of you. After five years, you are both presumably in a place of certainty regarding your future together. This should make it easier for you to have this conversation with him and tell him why you want to complete your studies first. If it helps, you can both set a date for your wedding and make an announcement to family and friends. Either way, do what is best for you because that will inadvertently strengthen your relationship with him.
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We decided to separate for a while and sort out our issues, but it has been two months, and my boyfriend hasn’t given me any indication of how long this separation is supposed to last. When I ask, he says he needs more time to figure out the future. Am I to assume he isn’t interested?
If he has specifically asked for time, why not agree? If he isn’t interested, why not wait until he says that? If you can’t wait or give him more time, you can tell him why.
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