Ensure all Indian WAGs are at their colourful best and have prime seats. Yes, they shouldn’t be wearing India jersey like the South African WAGs
Team India. Pic/AFP
Follow exactly the same routine and do the same things that you did when India won 10 matches in a row.
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If you watched the matches on your mobile, don’t switch over to TV now.
If you were in office clothes, don’t change to any random home wear. Were you seated in a particular position? Wriggle into the same, no compromises.
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Invoke the same God/s you prayed to on previous match days. Did you have beer with pizza or a soft drink with nachos? Place your orders now.
Did you take toilet breaks when the teams had drinks breaks? Stick to the same schedule. Did you watch the matches with friends, family or by yourself? Don’t invite ‘unlucky’ people. Each time ‘I’ placed a bet on India’s rival, ‘we’ won. Put more money on Australia, okay?
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Should India bat first or chase? Will the pitch afford turn to spinners? Will there be dew in the evening? Finish off all acrimonious arguments before the match like you did earlier.
Ok, you have suggestions on the role BCCI should play for India’s success? Go ahead, list them. Create a controversy over the selection of the pitch, ball, umpires and anything else if possible.
Ensure all Indian WAGs are at their colourful best and have prime seats. Yes, they shouldn’t be wearing India jersey like the South African WAGs.
You want filmy ‘sitares’ at the mammoth Modi Stadium. Yeah, why not? Most importantly Rajnikant’s presence is important. He has supernatural powers.
David Beckham? Em, err, uh. Let him return to UK.
Spectators at the venue should be at their uncomfortable best. No water to be made available easily, no free food to be provided to those paying through their noses for tickets. Constantly, those mauling on dishes in the VIP boxes and have apparently not paid for the tickets should be played on the giant screen.
Do you want someone special to be at the stadium, as a lucky charm? No, no, not him please.