To B.1. 618 or not to B.1.618

You see, clubbing me with the first stage COVID-19 virus was your first mistake.

I know you see me as Enemy no. 1. The Hannibal Lecter, the Hans Gruber of viruses. I’m that supervillain in action movies who debilitates the system, then boom, appears to rationalise his motives to the hapless government. Well, we’ve truly set the Coronavirus among the pigeons—the Bond franchise should be looking at us, the invisible enemy as a possible new arch villain- Mi6 vs B.1.618

You see, clubbing me with the first stage Covid-19 virus was your first mistake. To compare me with that rather weak, circular limpet-like Chinese product is quite frankly, insulting. True, I was a strain, a sequel, but I’m of English origin, and I’m not planning on Brexiting for a while. If 2020 was the trailer, I’m the main feature, the Triple Mutation...yes, the B.1.618, the deadly second wave.

Just take my newest ‘killer’, the black fungus…my variation, my true tentacular ‘mucomycorsis’, a killer, for diabetics, but quite honestly no one knew the depth of our destructiveness. However, what has stunned us in the Covid universe, is the response by your country—your leaders running around like spring chickens, the bodies piling up, truly death by stupidity.

How can you have let your guard down, rejoiced, thinking that you had beaten us? We watched you, last October, distributing your metaphorical ‘ladoos’, congratulating yourselves, thinking that the worst was over, while in our labs I was being created, a grizzly chapter two.

We watched with amusement as you thought the danger had passed. 

We should have known that a country like yours, spending a mere 1.2 per cent of its GDP on healthcare, well, you’re sitting ducks.

Over the last 14 months, we’ve watched leaderships in various nations, leaders come in various shades and hues when it comes to handling of the pandemic—we’ve divided them into Panic-demics, the Preach-ademics, the PutTheirHeadsDownAndWork-Demics, the Postpone-demics, the PointYourFingersAtOthersDemics, but you guys are unique with your  ‘PatYourselfOnTheBackDemics.’

And still the haphazardness continues—just take the vaccine saga. With a population such as yours, you’ve run out of stock! You haven’t jabbed everyone above 60 with the second shot, and you suddenly introduce the 18+ kids into the mix and then you backtrack. You haven’t even sorted out your oxygen shortages.

The truth is you’re just not prepared. Where are the priorities? Patients can’t find a hospital, and you’re busy building a new home, a Central Vista?

This is science, got it? The leaders of the world who’ve got that early, have been at least notionally one step ahead of the curve.

Look, we weren’t merely reloading, or reformatting, I was reconstructing; there’s a third wave on the way.

Listen, it’s true that we are nothing you’ve ever seen before, but you have to approach us with humility—we detest hubris, we dislike hypocrisy, we deplore haphazard planning.

Increase that budget on healthcare. Forget the platitiudisms.

You need to match the hardwork of your healthcare workers and, most of all, root out that virus you already have lodged deep within you—the EVD, the Ego-la Virus Disease.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahul.dacunha@mid-day.com

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