Is phone hacking such a bad thing?

A government that snoops on citizens without their permission is clearly a government that cares about our well-being

I’m not sure what the big deal is about phones being hacked by governments around the world. Apparently, the phone numbers of over 40 Indian journalists appeared on a leaked list of potential targets for surveillance. There were forensic tests conducted, confirming that these individuals were snooped upon by an unidentified agency using something called Pegasus spyware. No one knows who initiated this surveillance, obviously, because the government of India clearly says it didn’t and I have always believed the government of India.

The government of India isn’t lying because it has never lied to us. Yes, we were promised a lot of money in our bank accounts, the return of public wealth from tax havens abroad, lower prices of fuel and cooking gas, checks on inflation, more transparency in how taxpayer money would be used, greater accountability, and the return of good days that we didn’t even know were missing. If none of these things actually came to pass, it is our fault for being unnecessarily optimistic, not the government’s.

News reports about this illegal surveillance were met with much anger in some parts of the world. The governments indulging in this kind of behaviour were referred to as authoritarian, and their leaders as tinpot dictators. It saddened me that India would find a place on that embarrassing list, given our long history as the world’s most amazing democracy. We may have spent the last six or seven years attacking minorities, lynching people for their food habits, arresting students for protesting, hounding women in public, cutting off an entire state from the rest of the country, and ignoring farmers, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t a democracy.

I believe I would be touched by the knowledge that my private calls and texts were being monitored by someone. It would make me feel wanted, in a good way, and happy that someone was paying attention to whom I speak with and what I say. Yes, this may be a violation of my fundamental right to privacy, but we have matured as a nation over the past few years and can safely say that fundamental rights are overrated. After all, it is only when the people of Kashmir were denied most of their fundamental rights that they truly awoke to happiness. That can’t be a lie either, because several ministers informed us that it was true, and we all know that our ministers may be capable of murder, rape, or extortion, but can never find it within themselves to lie.

One of the things I look forward to, over the coming months, is my phone being hacked. This may sound strange, but I believe any mysterious entity that is definitely not the government of India is probably looking out for me by paying close attention to my opinions and beliefs. This will ultimately benefit me, because the people monitoring my conversations will get direct feedback about what it means to be a citizen of India in 2021. I can freely express my views about cowardly ministers who avoid press conferences, complain about ministers spending more time on growing their beards than boosting our economy, and talk about why it is wrong for a government to incarcerate journalists, activists, or any other citizen who dares to question it.

My hope is that anyone monitoring these private calls and conversations will then forward my grievances to the relevant ministers in charge of our economy, public health, infrastructure, and overall well-being. I have also begun urging family and friends to be more vocal about how they feel and what they would like the government to do. Writing emails and filing official complaints don’t get us anywhere these days, and the RTI Act that was supposed to make things easier for us has not been received with the kind of enthusiasm we hoped for from our elected representatives. Under these circumstances, then, airing our views to unknown operatives seems like the most viable approach. The government of India may not be listening, but someone must be.

I think we should make surveillance of all phones legal, and quickly write off that annoying right to privacy because it doesn’t get us anywhere. If this doesn’t happen, we should leak our private conversations ourselves, so that there are no more secrets between us and the honourable men and women representing us in Parliament. I have been thinking of what to call this proposed amendment, and believe the perfect name already exists: How about the Mann in Baat Act?

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper

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