Bring back character certificates!

Why was a recent request from the most intelligent government in India’s history withdrawn instead of encouraged?

I rushed to try and cobble together a character certificate a few weeks ago. I was inspired by the Himachal Pradesh government, specifically an order issued by the Bilaspur superintendent of police for journalists to provide these certificates if they intended to cover the prime minister’s visit to that state. It was a brilliant move that would presumably allow the government to make sure only genuine journalists were let through, even though I was confused about the requirement given that the prime minister hasn’t been interested in answering any questions since 2002. If these journalists couldn’t ask questions, what harm could those without a character certificate possibly do?

Then again, mine is not the reason why. I’m sure the government had a good reason. Maybe journalists with character certificates are known to be better at capturing politicians on camera, from more flattering angles. The more I thought about it, the more I was convinced that only the right kind of journalists should be allowed to work in India. The wrong kind—those who question the government all the time, for no apparent reason—only discourage ministers from their otherwise unwavering commitment to political rallies.

Sadly, the order was withdrawn hours after it was issued. Maybe the wrong kind of journalists had protested, arguing that the order went against the fourth pillar of democracy. It upset me because if there’s one thing the past seven or eight years ought to have taught us, it is that we rely way too much on this mythical fourth pillar. So what if journalists aren’t allowed to ask questions, or hold elected representatives to their word? It hasn’t stopped a couple of Indian businessmen from becoming richer than ever—which is something we should all be proud of. Two or three Indians becoming richer is a sign that we will all see an increase in wealth within the next couple of decades. We need patience, not knee-jerk reactions.

In keeping with this spirit, I decided to be proactive and try getting a character certificate anyway. After all, any of us can now, quite rightly, be asked for proof of any kind if we are to be granted permission to continue living here. What if a character certificate becomes imperative, the way our other certificates and cards already are?

It made me realise that every Indian citizen, not just journalists, may soon need to have character certificates. These may need to be created soon after birth and updated every year to keep track of how pro-government we have become. We could store these certificates alongside our birth certificates, school leaving certificates, Aadhaar cards, voter ID cards, and PAN cards. I hope the government initiates a committee to explore this option soon. There are more than enough retired software entrepreneurs in Bangalore who can help put together a viable plan to make it happen.

As for my own efforts to create a character certificate, this didn’t go according to plan. None of the people I spoke to had a definitive idea of what the paper would have to prove. I assumed it included a declaration that I was a decent human being who had never committed a crime, hurt anyone, or been accused of anything that warranted a jail term. Then again, that didn’t make sense because those parameters wouldn’t apply to most of our politicians.

Maybe the thing to do is initiate a series of spot tests conducted at random across India, to try and separate good Indians from those that don’t fit the bill. The government could replicate one of its extremely successful ideas (like the clean-up marshals who have transformed Bombay into Singapore) 
and task a few thousand employees to issue character certificates to Indians on the street if they can answer a few questions. These needn’t be difficult questions either. They can be about how many Smart Cities exist in India, or how many farmers have committed suicide over the past month.

I intend to continue my search for that elusive character certificate. If I get one, and it qualifies me to cover a visit by the prime minister at some point, I intend to write about it in one of my future columns. If I don’t get a character certificate, I am resigned to the possibility that I may have no character at all and may have to quit journalism for a more suitable career. If that happens, I can only hope there’s a political party conducting a recruitment drive in my locality.

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper

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