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I think I might be bisexual, and it's freaking me out! I'm 24 years-old and have a girlfriend, but I'm also attracted to a man at my workplace.

Hi Sandhya,
I think I might be bisexual, and it's freaking me out! I'm 24 years-old and have a girlfriend, but I'm also attracted to a man at my workplace. I've never had this problem before... all my growing up years, I felt firmly and happily heterosexual, so this sudden attraction is really throwing me and my life off balance. I haven't told anyone yet, but my girlfriend, who I've been with for a year-and-a-half, senses something is wrong and keeps bugging me about it. I don't know what to do! I realised I had feelings for this guy about three months ago, and first just dismissed it as one of those things. But not anymore. Now I know for sure that I am attracted to him. Surprisingly, this hasn't diminished my feelings or affections for my girlfriend, which is great, but I don't know what that means. I'm losing my sleep and peace of mind. What should I do? I always thought I was normal!
Thanks,
A

Dear A,
This is not easy on you, I understand, but please do not judge yourself. Being bisexual is not a crime or wrong, it's just an individual's sexual orientation, and sometimes, not just by choice, like in your case. So don't stress about that or be hard on yourself. What makes this possibly unpleasant is that you have a girlfriend and so, you do not have the liberty to explore your sexuality, which is tough on you. Personally, I think it is important for you to do so to know exactly who you are once and for all in order do justice to yourself and any future relationships. But you cannot and must not do that while you are still with your girlfriend because that's unfair to her. So I suggest you take a break from your relationship and sort your head out. No point being in a relationship till you're certain of what or who you want. The last thing you need right now is to add infidelity to your list of tensions. So take a break, give yourself time, then take a call on whoever you want to be with.
It's your life and you've got to live it with honesty to yourself first, but if it comes to not wanting to be in your relationship, please be honest with your girlfriend too.
Love, Sandhya

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