As widowed seniors who lost partners in the pandemic look for love, an ex-government officer is playing cupid
Milind Doshi wanted to remarry after he lost his wife in 2014. He and Dipa Pandya have been happily married since 2016
For the past 10 years, sexagenarian Jyotshna Vora has lived alone at her Kandivli home with only memories of her late husband for company. The walls in her house are lined with photos of her children-two daughters who are married, and a son who lives in Dubai. In March, when the nationwide lockdown was imposed, she was now to be confined to her room, an immediate prevention from the Coronavirus infection.
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Jyotshna Vora, 65, admits battling loneliness after the passing of her husband. She met Harish Patel, 68, in the lockdown through the NGO
"But, I became lonelier than ever before. I would go about crying all day, until one day I decided this had to stop," Vora, 65, recalls. She found out about the Ahmedabad-based NGO Anubandh Foundation, and quickly made a call. "I wanted to get married again. In a few weeks, I was shown three suitable profiles, and that is how I met Harish Patel. I think it was meant to be. As soon as we decided we wanted to spend the remaining part of our lives together, we told my kids."
Surat-based Patel, 68, lost his wife to COVID-19 in May. Vora came into his life just in time. "After my children gave us their blessings, we held a reception with limited family members. We even went on our honeymoon to the Statue of Unity in Gujarat," Vora laughs.
Vora and Patel may have found their happy ending, but scores of seniors are battling loneliness and depression in the Coronavirus-led lockdown. Since the start of the pandemic, studies from the United Kingdom, the US, Austria and the Netherlands have shown that senior citizens have been most severely hit by the isolation. Before the lockdown, about 30 million European adults often felt lonely, according to the European Commission, and 75 million saw friends and family just once a month. "The lockdown has forced people to stay indoors. Some senior citizens lost their partners during the pandemic, and some others much before that. But, not everyone wishes to die alone. So, they want to carry on with their lives with a new partner. I think that is beautiful," shares Natvarlal Patel, founder of Anubandh Foundation.
Patel, who started the NGO in 2002, says that the COVID-19 lockdown has encouraged hundreds of elderly people and their children contact him to arrange for a suitable match. A retired central government officer, Patel adds, "I remained glued to my phone in the lockdown, as I kept receiving calls from single seniors. So far, I have received more than 200 personal CVs from across India. A majority of them are retired defence personnel living in Delhi, Gurgaon, Punjab and Bihar. Some others are businessmen and former sportspersons."
Patel also received inquiries from overseas. "I worked with the Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation. I got inspired to start a marriage bureau after witnessing the devastating emotional impact the Gujarat earthquake had on people. Scores of people had died and several others had become homeless and alone. So, I thought I needed to step in and find them new partners for life," he adds.
Till date, the foundation has helped 165 elderly tie the knot. In the lockdown, Patel has helped 11 persons marry a second time. In July alone, six got re-married with the help of the foundation. The NGO also organises conferences in major Indian cities to spread the word among the elderly. "My wife passed away in 2014. I was lonely, and so I contacted the foundation. It was through them that I found Dipa Pandya, and I was mentally ready to marry her by 2016. We are happy in each other's company and have decided not to have children. I have her all for myself till the rest of my life," smiles Kandivli-based Milan Doshi, 59.
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