Crowded places, parties, mixed with high spirits often provide conducive atmosphere for misbehaviour; don't brush it aside, report it or talk to a friend
Crowded places, parties, mixed with high spirits often provide conducive atmosphere for misbehaviour; don't brush it aside, report it or talk to a friend
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Compiled/Poornima Swaminathan; Illustration/Jishu Dev Malakar
Eve teasing and molestation are common occurrences at big crowded parties. Only some get reported and the rest go unreported, with the victim left alone to grapple with the situation.
If you've been at the receiving end, don't let the bitterness engulf you. Discussing the unpleasant experience with your folks or confiding in a friend will help you vent out your negative emotions. If the incident is too disturbing, don't hesitate to seek professional help.
If a person close to you has been a victim, be as supportive as possible and allow her/him to overcome denial. "The most critical message that needs to be sent across is that the victim at no point should be made to believe that he/she was responsible or triggered the abuse or its consequences," said psychologist Tejal Shah.
Experts say that the effect of molestation on a victim can be significant and hence counseling should be supported and encouraged.
Senior police officials who register molestation complaints say that most cases go unreported as the victim often wants to forget the incident or the victim often knows the perpetrator. Also, a crowded place coupled with alcohol and people being in high spirits often make the atmosphere "conducive" for misbehavior and the person think he can get away with the crime.
"It is important that cases are reported to the police as it will act as a deterrent. Also, counseling for the victim, depending on the gravity of the offence plays an important role," said a senior police official.
Here's how you can comfort a friend
Don't ask: Don't go into details or ask too many questions.
Just listen: Take your friend's word he/she did not invite trouble. No matter how subtle the contact was, if it made your friend feel uncomfortable, the situation needs to be corrected somehow.
Be there: Let him or her vent out the negative feelings. Listen without being critical or blaming your friend for the situation.
Ensure safety: If the victim knows the perpetrator, chances are that he will strike again. Ensure that your friend is not in the same neighbourhood.
Approach the police: This will ensure that the perpetrator knows he cannot get away with his actions and this will act as a strong deterrent.
Don't repeat the discussion: Once you've talked it out together, if your friend seems to be recycling the same information, try to distract him or her with a fun activity.
Seek professional help: Extreme behaviour is the immediate result of a nasty incident. Anger, shame, guilt, depression are some of the few emotions that will shoot up. It is best to either talk it out or if the situation worsens, seek professional help.
Mumbai's hall of shame
2008 Two NRI women were molested by a mob of 70 men on New Year's Eve outside JW Marriot Hotel on Juhu Road. The police arrested the 12 people, and the case is under trial.
2007 Two women were molested at the Gate of India in a crowded area, where revelers had come to usher in the New Year.
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