Her voice still buzzes in my head says Dr. Payal Tadvi's husband

Over six weeks after Dr. Payal Tadvi's untimely death, her husband recounts the trauma he has been through and why he won't give up, until he gets justice

AAP aa rahe ho na khaana khaane ke liye?" These words keep coming to Dr Salman Tadvi's mind often, since the demise of his wife, Dr Payal. "She would always call me on her non-emergency day and ask me to join her for dinner at the hospital," Salman remembers.

It has been six weeks since Dr Payal's untimely death, but her husband is still finding it hard to cope with the grief. On Saturday, while returning from the sessions court, where the three accused were produced, Dr Salman spoke to mid-day about how his life has changed 360 degrees. "They (accused) have taken away the most precious person from my life, my wife, who had done no harm to them. I can't stand the sight of them. I hope truth prevails, and justice is served," said Dr Salman.

Today, every time his phone rings post 8 pm, Dr Salman rushes to answer the call, only to realise that it's not his wife on the other end. "I had learnt to make some sabzis, because she didn't get time to cook. We usually had dinner at the Nair Hospital canteen, where she'd narrate what happened through the day. Her voice still buzzes in my head," recalled Dr Salman. "I have stopped passing through the road that leads to Nair Hospital, as it affects me emotionally and mentally," he added.

Dr Salman, who is working as assistant professor, in the department of anaesthesiology at HBT Medical College and Cooper Hospital, resumed duty 10 days ago. While he is able to get past the day, he goes through sleepless nights at the flat he had rented out with his wife in Jacob Circle.

Also Read: Mumbai doctor's suicide: Crime branch finds photo of Payal Tadvi's suicide note in phone

"Last few weeks have drained me and Payal's parents physically and emotionally." His biggest regret is that he wasn't around for Dr Payal during the last three weeks, before she committed suicide. "As a teaching faculty, we are entitled to 20 days of summer vacation. In May, my father Ukhardu Tadvi, a retired government servant from the education department was diagnosed with blockages in his heart and was advised to undergo a bypass surgery. On May 7, he underwent a bypass surgery at Bombay Hospital and Payal had even provided financial assistance for the same," he said. Dr Salman then went to Jalgaon to drop his parents. "As I was busy looking after my father, our phone conversations reduced drastically."

Also Read: Mumbai doctor's suicide: Why can't cops clearly explain sequence, asks Payal Tadvi's husband

Dr Payal committed suicide a day after her husband returned from Jalgaon. "Had I been around for her, she would have been alive today," he said. Dr Sanjay Kumavat, former deputy director (mental health), Maharashtra said that Dr Salman is currently "experiencing intrusive memories" due to grief. "The ongoing investigation and court proceedings, where he is confronted with the arrested accused, is only having an adverse impact on him psychologically. Counselling support will be helpful for him and Payal's parents."

What next

Dr Salman said that they had handed over handwritten notes of Dr Payal to the police. "They (police) have also collected samples of her notes from the hospital. It will be sent to a handwriting expert, who will check if it matches with the suicide note retrieved from the mobile."

Also Read: We knew Dr Payal Tadvi would not kill herself without naming culprits, say kin

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